South Carolina - Full of Ash & Evil Clowns

Home of Hate, Homophobia, Racism, Hypocrisy and ill Faith

From its long history of slavery, suppression of women’s suffrage, and black and poor voter-disenfranchisement, to the George Rekers rentboy scandal, racist epithets thrown by a state senator, to the racial slaying and dragging of a black man by his white co-worker, South Carolina has become the epicenter of everything that’s wrong with America.

Now, before you go all Confederate on me, and tell me it’s unfair to blame an entire state for the actions of just a few, I’ll agree, but I’ll also blame the people of South Carolina (who number slightly more than half the population of New York City) for allowing the same ugly events to happen again and again.

At some point, citizens have to stand up and say, “Enough!”

Perhaps South Carolina will change its tourism slogan from “Smiling Faces. Beautiful Places,” to “Yeah, Mark Sanford isn’t the only bad thing here.”

Let’s take a quick look at some of what has happened in the way of hate and bigotry since South Carolina was born, to today.

Thomas Jefferson planned to denounce slavery in the Declaration of Independence, but removed those references to ensure South Carolina joined the Union.

Slavery was such a part of South Carolina in the late 1600s, that in less than fifty years, the people of South Carolina exported almost fifty-thousand captured American Indians and sold them as slaves, so they could buy more African slaves, who were deemed more knowledgeable and skilled.

Despite the gift of allowing slavery to exist to ensure South Carolina join the Union, South Carolina was the first state to secede from the Union. Had our Founding Fathers the gumption to stick to their guns, the entire slavery industry and the civil war might not have existed.

Long after the Civil War, South Carolina disenfranchised the majority of its black and poor voters, and was the second-to-last state to ratify and implement the Nineteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, allowing women the right to vote, a full forty-nine years after the Amendment became law.

Today, many South Carolinians want to stay true to their Confederate, secessionist, racist, slavery-supporting heritage.

“less than half of the candidates running for South Carolina governor say they would consider moving the Confederate flag that flies in front of the South Carolina Statehouse; none of the candidates say they would.”

In the twenty-first century, flying the Confederate flag, a symbol of secession, racism, and slavery, is unacceptable and un-American.

You know what else is un-American?

Yelling “You lie!’ at the President of the United States during a joint session of Congress. That line in the sand, throwing away centuries of respect and decorum, was drawn by South Carolina’s Representative Joe Wilson.

Wilson has uttered other controversial epithets and lies in the past, including calling the fact that former Senator and presidential candidate Strom Thurmond fathered an out-of-wedlock daughter via an interracial affair a “smear.” 

Congressmen like Joe Wilson would do well to remember that “representative” is part of their official title, and responsibilities.

Another Congressman from South Carolina has faced the ludicrous assignation of being censured, twice, for being too bi-partisian. Republican Senator Lindsey Graham was censured by his own party in his own state “because of his work with Democrats on immigration and climate change.”

Being too bi-partisan is not Senator Graham’s only problem. The head of the Americans for Legal Immigration PAC (ALIPAC) thinks Graham is gay and has no problem saying so, and saying it’s a problem.

“I hope this secret isn’t being used as leverage over Senator Graham, so today I think Senator Graham, you need to come forward and tell people about your alternative lifestyle and your homosexuality.”

OK…

I know that George Rekers reference up top may have intrigued you, so I’ll remind you that rentboy-renting, long-stroke and rubdown-receiving George Rekers is a professor, emeritus, of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine. Figures.

You know what else figures?

South Carolina is going to cut its entire HIV/AIDS budget.  Tough times call for tough measures, especially against gay people, I guess…

South Carolina disgraced Governor Mark Sanford is a member of “The Family,” an extreme right-wing religious group that preaches politicians should stay in power at all costs. He is a man who embarrassed himself time and again, and, just one year ago this month, made the term “hiking the Appalachian Trail” a euphemism for having an extra-marital affair with a woman in South America. Surprisingly, Sanford has ridden out the tough times and calls for his impeachment, most likely because he is term-limited and cannot run again for governor.

Most South Carolinians not ashamed of Governor Mark Sanford’s hypocrisy.

Sanford was forced to resign as head of the Republican Governors Association after admitting to the affair. Sanford, now divorced due to his affair, also was unanimously censured in lieu of being impeached, but was never brought up on charges for misuse of state funds or his trips to Argentina.

Speaking of state funds, the Governor himself, while finding it acceptable to bill the citizens of his state for illicit affairs, did not think it acceptable to accept federal government stimulus funds, despite the fact that his state “ranks #2 in unemployment" and "#11 in child homelessness.”  The Governor also did not think it acceptable back in 2008 to pay for ads his tourism board had run, touting “South Carolina is so gay”

Mark Sanford has a unique sense of what is and is not acceptable.

You remember that horrible, endless airport “press conference?”

That was bad. So were Sanford’s Lieutenant Governor’s despicable statements early this year about the poor.  Now, remember, in January, South Carolina had one of the highest rates of unemployment in the country, 12.6%. Which prompted Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer to state,

No wonder Sanford didn’t get impeached. That ignorant asshat is what would have been running the state if Sanford were gone.  I suppose I should in all fairness mention that that ignorant asshat has also been accused of being in the closet, supposedly by activist Mike Rogers, but later it was reported the accusations came from, yes, Governor Mark Sanford.

“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals." “You know why?  Because they breed.

“You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.”

Sadly, the morality morass in South Carolina gets worse. Much worse. 

It should be noted most media outlets did not report the “fucking” portion of his comments.

The Columbia, South Carolina Free Times reports,

"With a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face outside a Columbia bar, Republican S.C. Sen. Jake Knotts called Lexington Rep. Nikki Haley, an Indian-American Republican woman running for governor, a “raghead” several times while explaining how he believed she was hiding her true religion from voters."

“She’s a fucking raghead,” Knotts said.

He later clarified his statement. He did not mean to use the F-word.Knotts says he believed Haley has been set up by a network of Sikhs and was programmed to run for governor of South Carolina by outside influences in foreign countries. He claims she is hiding her religion and he wants the voters to know about it.

Four things you can't recover from: The Stone...after you throw it... The Word...after its said... The Occasion...after its missed and The Time...after it's gone

“We got a raghead in Washington; we don’t need one in South Carolina,” Knotts said more than once. “She’s a raghead that’s ashamed of her religion trying to hide it behind being Methodist for political reasons.”

Later, the America Foreign Press reported this “apology” from Knotts:

“Since my intended humorous context was lost in translation, I apologize,” Knotts said. “I still believe Ms Haley is pretending to be someone she is not, much as Obama did, but I apologize to both for an unintended slur.”

OK…

Haley, for whom Sarah Palin has recorded robocalls, has been accused by two men of having extra-marital affairs with each of them. She denies the charges and, in an act just one step better than the man who endorses her, Mark Sanford, has offered to resign the Governorship, should she win and it be proven she has had any affair.

That’s a relief.  But wait, there’s more...

As if everything I just wrote wasn’t bad enough, this, my friends, is where it gets disgusting, and disgusting for two reasons. The first is that this atrocity happened, the second is that it’s not being covered much by the main stream media.

Also last week in South Carolina, days before Knotts’ racist “raghead” remarks were made, Gregory Collins, a white male who is nineteen years old, was arrested for murder. Specifically, for shooting a black man in the head, then tying one end of a nylon rope around the neck of his victim, the thirty-year old black man he just killed, and the other end of the rope to Collins’ own truck, then dragging the dead man’s body for ten miles.

Police located Collins from the miles-long trail of blood that lead to his trailer, where they found twenty guns and high-powered rifles. Collins, who worked with his thirty-year old victim, Anthony Hill, claimed he did it in self-defense.

The two reportedly had spent the day together and drank into the wee hours of the morning.

Fortunately, and despite South Carolina’s Republican U.S. Senator Jim DeMint’s objections to the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which passed last year, the FBI is investigating this atrocity as a hate crime.

Yes, Senator DeMint, hate crimes happen to your constituents, even the non-gay ones.

DeMint, who has partnered with RedState founder and CNN bigot Erick Erickson last year claimed, healthcare reform could be Obama’s "Waterloo.”  The South Carolina freshman Senator went too far, and his words became the title and, later, the pink slip for Republican writer David Frum.

But DeMInt himself could see a pink slip in his future, as he’s the subject of an ethics complaint for his lodging at “The Family’s” C Street, the very institution that fellow South Carolina pol Mark Sanford belongs to.

Of course, South Carolina is one of the states championing repeal of Obama’s health care bill. Why would a state whose residents have a far worse than average rate of homelessness, unemployment, infant mortality, obesity, hypertension, poverty, etc., want to help its citizens lead a better life?

Of course it wouldn’t. South Carolina has been the center of hate, homophobia, racism, in short, Republicanism, for four centuries.

Why stop now?

Ignorance prevails in South Carolina, and it's no wonder since it has the 3rd highest Illiteracy rate in the nation. 

Nothing has changed, things are the same as they ever were.

On July 2, 1776, the "anti-slavery clause" was removed from the Declaration of Independence at the insistence of Edward Rutledge, delegate from South Carolina. Rutledge threatened that South Carolina would fight for King George against her sister colonies. He asserted that he had "the ardent support of proslavery elements in North Carolina and Georgia as well as of certain northern merchants reluctant to condemn a shipping trade largely in their own bloodstained hands." Fearful of postponing the American Revolution, opponents of slavery, who were in the clear majority, made a "compromise."

Thus, July 4, 1776, marks for African Americans not Independence Day but the moment when their ancestors' enslavement became fixed by law as well as custom in the new nation.

If only anti-slavery foes had said "no compromise!" to South Carolina and rejected slavery and white privilege, the United States would have begun as a principled nation instead of a hypocritical one. Maybe then, today's South Carolinians would not be at the point of violence about a flag and what to do with it.

Throughout American history, South Carolinians have led the fight to preserve and defend slavery, white supremacy, racial segregation, and race fear. South Carolina is the soul of the Confederacy. It is safe to say that South Carolina gave birth to Dixie, so much so that it is a matter of pride to many South Carolinians that their state was the first to secede from the Union and that Citadel cadets fired the first shot of the Civil War.

South Carolina's singular role in United States history is as a conduit for the growth of slavery. Between 1700 and 1775, forty percent of all enslaved blacks came to America through the state. As Ellis Island in New York was the first stop for many Europeans willingly entering the New World, Sullivan's Island near Charleston, was the first stop for many Africans who were brought here against their will. South Carolina had the highest percentage of slaveholders in the nation. In 1860 almost half (45.8 percent) of all white families in South Carolina held enslaved Africans.

The Confederate flag represents the glorification of that history.

The flag represents slavery, racial oppression and a deep-seated belief in the very existence and rightness of the Confederacy. The flag symbolizes a privileged, landed class, white supremacy and patriarchy. Those who fought and died under the Confederate flag were willing to die for the expansion of slavery.

This is not some vision of mint juleps and ladies in ringlets and lace, is the "heritage" that modern Confederates defend when they champion this flag.

For most Americans, let alone most African Americans, the men who died under the Confederate battle flag were not heroes; they were traitors to the fundamental notion of human freedom.

For the past 32 years, the Confederate flag has flown atop South Carolina's Statehouse dome. Now there is finally a movement to move the flag to the grounds around the Statehouse. Many in the white community believe this is a compromise blacks ought to jump on. Some have even offered that the flag be cast in bronze as possible compromise. A few white state legislators promise violence if the flag is not honored "appropriately" and as part of the "compromise," black legislators must agree to leave all Confederate monuments, building, school, street names and the like in place.

In spite of such threats, the local, national and international community must repudiate this compromise. It is unacceptable to have the Confederate flag flying on public property.

The flag is a racist, ignoble symbol and location does not change its meaning.

The flag as government-imposed speech or symbolism is a slap in the face to all Americans who believe in equality. The NAACP's demand is that the flag be removed from the dome and relegated to a museum. So, if the South Carolina legislature decides to cast the flag in bronze, the group will have accomplished its mission. That does not mean that the remaining monuments to racism ought to be left alone. All monuments that glorify slavery ought to crumble, and it is outrageous and not just symbolic that the most reactionary legislators are insisting that all other symbols of white supremacy and enslavement must stand if they give up this one.

The National Association for the Advancement for Colored People remains the spearhead of the economic boycott against South Carolina. Although the boycott sometimes lacks coherence, the group loses credibility amongst its core supporters by accepting any deal that leaves the flag flying. The boycott generally centers on tourism but, at present, it is difficult to measure the effect on white-owned businesses or activities such as concerts or sports events. Some in the movie industry such as Will Smith and Mel Gibson ignored the call to avoid the state while tennis pros Serena and Venus Williams refused to play at the all-but-segregated Hilton Head. The Neville Brothers appeared in the state while singer Gerald Levert says he won't perform until the flag comes down.

The New York Knicks moved their training camp from Charleston. Players said they "didn't feel welcome" with the flag flying. If the NAACP expands the boycott, it should include discouraging athletes, black and white, from playing major college sports in the state. The NCAA has indicated that it is willing to go along.

The boycott has had an immediately adverse affect on blacks. Many black families come into the state for reunions. Hotel owners whose client base is predominately black feel the immediate pain of the tourist boycott. If the boycott dramatically affects convention business, that hurts black workers disproportionately. In spite of this economic reality, moving the flag to the front door of the Statehouse ends nothing--would the civil war have ended if slavery had been moved to some more obscure corner of the nation?--and most black people in South Carolina are willing to sacrifice a bit longer.

They see the flag as symbolic of the economic disparities and regressive racial attitudes that have persist in the state to this day.

The South Carolina business community, black and white, wants the flag down because the boycott and accompanying negative publicity is costing them money. Yet, many white businessmen express an inbred sympathy for flag supporters. Many in the chamber of commerce crowd think that moving the flag to the state's Main Street will change the image of the state. They are counting on the rest of the world seeing it their way. They are just as out of touch with how South Carolina appears to the rest of the world as their predecessors who put the flag up as a symbol of resistance to civil rights for African Americans in 1968.

Many white legislators have openly expressed their longing for, denial of or amnesia about South Carolina's racist history. Some have mused out loud about how good it was when all black football teams played the all-white teams. Almost all ignore past and present Ku Klux Klan activism and violence in the state. One calls the NAACP, the "national association of retarded people.'' Others unashamedly proclaim that black slavery "is good." Confederacy defenders and those nostalgic for state-sponsored segregation, present to the world the same troubling mindset as Austria's Nazi SS defenders. The international community should respond to South Carolina as it did to Joerg Haider's Freedom Movement and his Freedom Party-led government.

The South Carolina statehouse is surrounded by Confederate monuments. Not only that. There are Confederate monuments at every county courthouse and town square in the state. The names of white, male southern patriarchs are everywhere. Towering high in Charleston is a statute of John Caldwell Calhoun who promoted the ideology of white supremacy and states' rights. General Wade Hampton who promoted and defended secession and the Confederacy sits on a horse on the capital grounds. Benjamin Ryan Tillman, a virulent white supremacist, constitutionally (and otherwise) who reinstituted white rule after Reconstruction, faces the Confederate soldier statue that guards the statehouse.

"Pitchfork" Ben drove blacks out of the state at gunpoint. He and his Sweetwater Sabre Club members wore white shirts stained in red to represent the blood of black men. Tillman's heir, Senator James Strom Thurmond, rose to prominence in 1948 with the States Rights Democratic Party, better known as the Dixiecrats. Thurmond ran as that party's presidential candidate; his party stood for segregation and against race mixing. Throughout his congressional, career Thurmond has opposed every major civil rights initiative. On the statehouse grounds, Thurmond's statute faces the Confederate Women's monument.

And long before Nazi Germany's Josef Mengele, the "Angel of Death," conducted human experiments on Jews at Birkenau and Auschwitz; long before the Tuskeegee experiment that left 399 black men untreated for syphilis from 1932 to 1972, South Carolina had James Marion Sims. Sims, the "father of gynecology," established America's first women's hospital -- the Women's Hospital of the State of New York. He is also credited with founding the Cancer Hospital now known as the Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. Yet before Sims treated the white and wealthy, he experimented on enslaved black women. Sims performed more than forty experimental operations on an enslaved woman named Anarcha for a prolapsed uterus without anesthesia or antiseptic. Sims' memorial is tucked in a corner of the statehouse grounds next to the Robert E. Lee Memorial Highway plaque.

All these men hold a place of honor in the hearts and minds of many white South Carolinians.

If they need to prove that they have not abandoned their racist heritage, there will remain plenty of evidence after the Confederate flag comes down. And ensuring that those relics of racism and white supremacy will remain in place for another generation is far too high a price to pay in order to achieve the minor feat of allowing the flag to further defile the statehouse grounds.

While the Statehouse lawn is crowded with statutes of white men the memory of the rebellious black haunts modern Confederates. The Citadel, the state-run military academy in Charleston that was recently forced to accept women, was built in 1825 after the Denmark Vesey insurrection of 1822.

Construction of the Citadel arsenal was begun in order to protect whites from "an enemy in the bosom of the state."

In 1999, a majority-white committee was given the task of coming up with a memorial for the Statehouse grounds that would recognize the legacy of slavery. Vesey's name was suggested to the committee. The Vesey conspiracy was one of the most elaborate black uprisings on record. It involved thousands of blacks in and around Charleston. In the end Vesey, his five aides and thirty-seven blacks were hanged for trying to set themselves and their brethren free. Vesey didn't just shout "give me liberty or give me death," he acted on that idea, so fundamental to American concepts of liberty and values. Nevertheless, the committee refused to recommend a statute of Vesey because "he advocated killing whites."

But the committee did not suggest taking down the statues of Tillman and Hampton, who advocated killing blacks.

Many white southerners refuse to believe or accept the fact that his or her ancestors fought the wrong fight.

You hear the same nonsense over and over: They "fought bravely," "defended the land," their cause was "noble"-even that they fought because they were called and "it was their duty to fight." Illusions aside, the war was about "keeping the (N word removed) in place!" Poor whites fought and died in a "rich man's war" because they wanted to remain "better than the (N word removed)."

And today, if the flag remains on the dome or even if it is placed on the grounds, the underlying sentiment that welcomes its continued presence will be "keeping the (word removed) from getting what they want!"

For those with an unbiased and honest view of history, that flag will always represent racial oppression, first and foremost.

Flag opponents are not asking anyone to forget history or to give up their flag.

Just the opposite: We must never forget!

Those who put one of the many Confederate flags on their cars or fly them in their yards at least do us the favor of letting us know what they stand for. Still, at some point, there must be a repudiation of the symbols and icons that glorify the immorality of the past.

People have to get beyond that point if we expect them to recognize the debt owed African Americans for the stolen lives and labor of their ancestors.

 And that is the least we ought to expect.

There is Some "Thing" in the Water

I've lived out here for about 4 & 1/2 years, and through my observations, I've come to understand that there has got to be something wrong with the water.  I mean, people out here are just not right. 

Something is wrong with them.

So folks, just like in Mexico, when your in South Carolina do not drink the water.

As a matter of fact, other than showering, I try to avoid any contact with the water.   You hear stories about young children getting scabs on their arms, legs and chest where the bathwater — polluted with lead, nickel and other heavy metals — caused painful rashes.

 

Many South Carolina residents teeth were capped to replace enamel that was eaten away.

Neighbors apply special lotions after showering because their skin burns.  There are tests show that their tap water contains arsenic, barium, lead, manganese and other chemicals at concentrations federal regulators say could contribute to cancer and damage the kidneys and nervous system.

Living here in Moncks Corner, where we were able to get digital cable and Internet in our homes for the first time in years.....but why not clean water?

How is this still happening today?

Most residents are ignorant to this issue, and are even unaware that State law requires that these companies disclose in reports to regulators that they were pumping into the ground illegal concentrations of chemicals — the same pollutants that flowed from residents’ taps.

What is more outrageous is that these very state regulators never fined or punished those companies for breaking those pollution laws.

This pattern is not limited to South Carolina. 

Almost four decades ago, Congress passed the Clean Water Act to force polluters to disclose the toxins they dump into waterways and to give regulators the power to fine or jail offenders. States have passed pollution statutes of their own. But in recent years, violations of the Clean Water Act have risen steadily across the nation, an extensive review of water pollution records by The New York Times found.

In the last five years alone, chemical factories, manufacturing plants and other workplaces have violated water pollution laws more than half a million times. The violations range from failing to report emissions to dumping toxins at concentrations regulators say might contribute to cancer, birth defects and other illnesses.

However, the vast majority of those polluters have escaped punishment. State officials have repeatedly ignored obvious illegal dumping, and the Environmental Protection Agency, which can prosecute polluters when states fail to act, has often declined to intervene.

Because it is difficult to determine what causes diseases like cancer, it is impossible to know how many illnesses are the result of water pollution, or contaminants’ role in the health problems of specific individuals.

But concerns over these toxins are great enough that Congress and the E.P.A. regulate more than 100 pollutants through the Clean Water Act and strictly limit 91 chemicals or contaminants in tap water through the Safe Drinking Water Act.

Regulators themselves acknowledge lapses.

The new E.P.A. administrator, Lisa P. Jackson, said in an interview that despite many successes since the Clean Water Act was passed in 1972, today the nation’s water does not meet public health goals, and enforcement of water pollution laws is unacceptably low. She added that strengthening water protections is among her top priorities. State regulators say they are doing their best with insufficient resources.

The Times obtained hundreds of thousands of water pollution records through Freedom of Information Act requests to every state and the E.P.A., and compiled a national database of water pollution violations that is more comprehensive than those maintained by states or the E.P.A.

Toxic Water - Find Water Polluters Near You

Across the nation, the system that Congress created to protect the nation’s waters under the Clean Water Act of 1972 today often fails to prevent pollution. The New York Times has compiled data on more than 200,000 facilities that have permits to discharge pollutants and collected responses from states regarding compliance. Information about facilities contained in this database comes from two sources: the Environmental Protection Agency and the California State Water Resources Control Board.

The report shows that the Oakley Maintenance Facility located in Moncks Corner, has had 48 violations of dumping illegal contaminates into our water supply.   The water supply for Macedonia Elementary School and Middle schools both have been warned with 29 violations.  Both of which were never fined.

In addition, The Times interviewed more than 250 state and federal regulators, water-system managers, environmental advocates and scientists. That research shows that an estimated one in 10 Americans have been exposed to drinking water that contains dangerous chemicals or fails to meet a federal health benchmark in other ways.

Those exposures include carcinogens in the tap water of major American cities and unsafe chemicals in drinking-water wells. Wells, which are not typically regulated by the Safe Drinking Water Act, are more likely to contain contaminants than municipal water systems.

Here in South Carolina, water pollution has a terrible scent, and a horrible taste, but the residents continue to consume dangerous chemicals and do not even realize it, even after they become sick, or have children born with birth defects.

One thing to remember if your ever visiting South Carolina - Do not drink the water!

Ignorance Prevails in the South

Most of my readers know that I have been living isolated in a small country town in South Carolina.  At first, I was intrigued by the simplicity of living in a Southern state.  I must admit, I was not prepared for the culture shock I endured. 

Ignorance is not a strong enough word to describe the culture and the mentality of the people who live here.

Southern Baptists are a cult enveloped in hypocrisy and ignorance.

I have found that in most Southern Baptist Churches, they are predominantly caucasian congregations where they speak about how everyone else is going to Hell.  They speak about how we are all sinners, and that animals have no souls, and were put on this planet for entertainment.

Although, they may appear welcoming to non-caucasians, they do not care for any other race, color or creed.  They preach to vote Republican.  They have signs in their yard, "Jesus is the only way."  They hate muslims, jews, hispanics...pratically, everybody else in the world. 

Their ignorance is so palpable, that when questioning their beliefs, they can not answer with any logic or reason.  They do not seem excited about God at all.   Iinstead they just stand there in near coma  like state and answer.  "You'll never understand unless you were born again."  Which is one of the most stupid answers anyone would pass through their lips. 

Stupid nonsense, if you ask me.

My Spiritual Journey

Four years ago, I set out on a spiritual journey and during this time, I worked very hard at trying to detach myself from all materialistic and physical desires.  I spent most of my time in meditation, which helped create a clear channel to observe my thoughts, fears, and any physical desires. Once I mastered the ability to observe my emotions, I began to apply this to my life — I no longer felt that I needed to react to them.

Take it from someone like myself, who had been carrying a lot of emotional pain from my past and my present.

Most recently, was the death of my beloved dog, Brandy.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure, but I was finally able to detach myself.  This doesn't mean I do not grieve, nor does this mean I will no longer feel the pain.

It just means that I can react differently to these emotions I am experiencing. 

Experiencing the death of a loved one, or witnessing the death of others, can be one of the most profound events in one's life. Especially in Western culture, death is something we pretend does not exist. We are constantly encouraged to hold onto life, and even if we're with someone we know is dying, the subject is rarely, if ever, mentioned.

In Mexico, they embrace death, and even taunt it, and laugh at it.

Living with a terminal illness has changed the way I view death, and with the death of my dog, I have been able to embrace this very special experience. It only occurs once in a lifetime, and it is something one waits to arrive.  Never acknowledging this universal experience of the unknown is like an individual who admits he has a mind but not a body, or vice versa; in short, by hiding from such an inherent part of life as death, we deny ourselves a truly integrated understanding of life's possibilities and its meaning.

Buddhism has a lot to say about the role of death in human life, as well as its true nature. Death can be a teacher. Only in facing death, those of loved ones and our own, can we be free from the fear of it and learn the lessons it has to teach about life.

I had to learn to trust in some sort of design in the universe, and hope her spirit is safe in the care of higher beings and involved in a process constructed to guide the millions people and animals who die and leave the planet every day.

I am left here on earth to cope with loss, regrets and grief, and with the gut realization that death is present, a pervasive reality, and it has now changed my life forever."

Here shall I dwell in the season of rains, and here in winter and summer"; thus thinks the fool, but he does not think of death." 

"For death carries away the man whose mind is self-satisfied with his children and his flocks, even as a torrent carries away a sleeping village."

"Neither father, sons nor one's relations can stop the King of Death. When he comes with all his power, a man's relations cannot save him."

"A man who is virtuous and wise understands the meaning of this, and swiftly strives with all his might to clear a path to Nirvana."

Even though Buddhist beliefs are sometimes intertwined with Taoism, there are strict differences between the two religions.  I am not an advocate for either of these organized religions.  However, I do embrace the core messages from each, and forge my own path through experiencing each reality.

One of the main concepts of Buddhism is "suffering."

Metaphorically, Buddhists believe life itself is suffering, while Taoists on the other hand, believe life is good.

In order to overcome suffering, Buddhists strive to reach "Nirvana," or Enlightenment through non-selfish behavior, following the nobele  path of Buddha and stopping the process of rebirth.  Breaking the chain. When one ceases to be reborn, they lose all form, self and conscience. They return to the nothingness out of which everything is made.

Is it human to be non-feeling, to accept every thought, action, and emotion without judgment?

With these words I call attention to our powerlessness when it comes to death. It sweeps through our lives, often without warning, and nothing can prevent it.  No matter how much you pray.

Most people hide their heads in the sand, pretending death will never affect them, that this life will go on forever.  The grief over the loss of my dog, which I love so much has, over the past month, opened me up, deepened my understanding of how temporal life is and how much more important my family are.

You see, through this grief, my heart was ripped open, and I experienced death perhaps more than I ever have.

Life has an urgency now, I feel compelled ...no I feel impelled to enjoy others more fully and to assess my time carefully, to be in the present as much as I can. I must be in this moment because I will never have this moment again. 

"Watchfulness is the path of immortality: unwatchfulness is the path of death. Those who are watchful never die: those who do not watch are already as dead."

"You are at the end of your life. You are going to meet Death. There is no resting place on your way, and you have no provision for the journey."

"Make therefore an island for yourself. Hasten and strive. Be wise. With the dust of impurities blown off, and free from sinful passions, you will be free from birth that must die, you will be free from old age that ends in death."

If your so lucky enough to have a dog in your life, you know that all dogs live in the NOW.

So as I say farwell to the South, with all it's Hate, Homophobia, Racism, Hypocrisy, and ill Faith enveloped in the hot humid South Carolina summer during one of the most tumultuous crossroads the world has ever faced.

South Carolina allowed me to explore my life's wounds by revealing a deeper meaning of Love, Home and the redemptive simplicity of "choosing what matters."

And what matters to me right now, is my family....and I am returning home.

I dance around this empty house
Screaming down the halls
Pictures framing up the past
This museum full of ash
This used to be a funhouse
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down
9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1,
fun

TheCivilRightsMovement.com  Dispatches from South Carolina by Kevin Alexander Gray  New York Times reports on Toxic Water