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Thursday, December 22, 2016


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I have a delayed reaction.
To heartache.
To grief.
To loss.
And then it hits me.
The anguish.
All at once.
As if the sky is falling.
Raining bullet tears down to the floor of the ocean.
And the Veneers fall off.
We are jelly.
Bouncing through the Universe.
We are only threads of hope.
We are only fragments of bone dangling
from small whispers and promises.
I have a delayed reaction.
To assholes.
To insults.
To bullies.
To people who shock me with their inconsideration.
With their hatred.
I become stunned.
And quiet.
In the disbelief.
And then it hits me.
All at once.
The volcano.
The deep dark animalistic protective rage.
Against those who only think of themselves.
Against the animal killers.
The hunters.
The Humans that excuse themselves
From stealing life.
Against the hypocrites.
Against those who are conscious,
but pretend not to be.
Or are too selfish to change.
I am concrete.
I am stone.
I am the voice for the voiceless.
This is the reflection of your worst nightmare.
I am the keeper of the animal spirits
That cry in anguish from your plate.
From your leather shoes.
From your gut.
There is no more time.
The tears are falling
We are going to drown.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Is It Time To Say Goodbye?

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People who have a mental illness can’t take care of themselves and they are going to end up on the street. 

Their behavior destroys families and relationships.

Their behavior is destroying them.

Believe me, I get it. I really, really do.

I have to accepted that not everyone with a mental illness will get help.

Sometimes you have to say goodbye to a person with a mental illness.

Sometimes you have to cut a person with mental illness out of your life.

This is what I read about, what advice I get, and through experience I've learned.... many of us I’m just trying to deal. At least now I can easily spot when a manic session is going to happen. 

I saw it this morning and knew the day was going to end a raging violent manic spiral.

It did!

He is an abusive, destructive force that no one can stand to be around lest they get pulled into convincing delusions and psychoses or have to fear his violent rage.

Being in the same room with him is like being hit repeatedly with a hard, blunt object.

It only feels good when you stop.

Believe me, I get it.

This mental illness reality is unbearably painful as it will shortly result in his having nowhere to live.

I don’t know if he will have any friends.

I don’t know if he’ll have enough food to eat.

I don’t know whether he’ll even live to tell the tale.

So you see, I get it.

I don’t just willy-nilly post this stuff....its very serious and is a dangerous situation which overwhelms me financially, and emotionally.

I am being given advice by so many "experiencers" to distance myself from "intractable crazy".

They tell me this because I need to be told.

I’m not mean, uncaring, inflexible, unhelpful or cruel.

I’m trying to save myself from this damned Titanic...I need to make the jump to a damn lifeboat, but am scared and guilty of saving myself.

People who won’t get treatment and continue to hurt you are the Titanic.


No more acceptable promises which end broken.

I can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves.
Self destruction is ugly.

As I write this I weep. I weep for his pain. I weep for what he’s going through. I weep for what I know drives him to his behavior.

I weep for his mentally ill brain.

I weep for me because the kind, caring boy hiding under the covers is gone....

...and there’s nothing I can do to bring him back.

It's time to say Goodbye.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Standing With Standing Rock

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So to the folks that have felt opposition regarding or ignored this matter. . .please, please take a moment look at the movement that is taking place!!

It is so beautiful, so raw, and so powerful!!

# 1 the people at the camps are remaining in prayer, embodying a peaceful stance and maintaining HOPE, despite the terror and serious harm incurred as a result of government authorities poor actions (these are officers that have taken an oath to protect the public)

# 2 the militarized personnel was hired to enforce the interest of Dakota Access Pipeline, not anyone else, please get that straight (they are officers from various U.S. regions and agencies. You, we are paying for terrorism against our indigenous brothers and sisters for a CORPORATION, NOT for safety . . . this is the Stanford Prison Experiment on fucking greedy heroin man)

# 3 Dakota Access (Energy Transfer Criminals) does not have legal permits to do anything on the land there! However, because they are willing to move forward illegally by paying the fines as result (paltry to them, never mind this is a criminal act and they have the hired personnel protecting them, yet Obama wants to wait it out, to see what happens, as if this is a fair and responsible action)

# 4 the treaties of Fort Laramie will clearly outline for you that the land the Standing Rock tribes are defending, is indeed theirs (actually every fucking piece of land we’re on in the America’s belong to the indigenous). Our government illegally went against their own treaty and stole the land some years later, but if we’re upholding law, as Obama promised and said he would also provide assistance should the first nations need it . . . then the Energy Transfer Criminals would not have been giving the freedom to terrorize. However, we’re clearly a terrorist country and North Dakota is a terrorist state that enables such injustices and atrocities to occur. Now the DAPL company is enforcing that bunk theft and escaping the very law our government wrote, passed and promised to uphold. Please educate yourself and review the treaty:

# 5 In America there is more than one location involved in defense of opposition against the last grab for squeezing as much profit out of what’s left of the pipeline industry. Particularly, there are three camps at Standing Rock that are totally self-sustaining and self-governing with thousands of people from different cultures, age, and walks of life. They are running solely on donations and support from the outside, from us . . . from people from other tribes, other nations and countries. That is a major league guys!!

How awesome!! Imagine that, let that sit with you . . . WOW!

# 6 their are over 2,000 retired U.S. veterans heading to Standing Rock next week to assist them peacefully in defending their land.

# 7 Countless citizens have gone up to the Standing Rock camps, and many others have organized and rallied in other states in support, raising awareness, building the movement . . . you getting the picture here . . .

# 8 individuals that have been seriously harmed in ways that their lives are forever altered have received an outpour of support and monetary donations in return for their sacrifices, to help them heal and recover . . . our own government can’t even provide for and support their own vets they use and abuse for their corrupt game of real life monopoly.

What all this means . . . the totalitarian regime is losing its power, this is end game stuff here people!

We have been led by the first nations of this land, by those we have gravely oppressed and marginalized for over 500 years!

Yet, we have officers that have taken oath to protect us, protecting entities that only care for their invested interest of monetary gain . . . not human welfare, or the health and life of any being in its path! What has taken place up to now has clearly demonstrated that the people indeed have the true power, when a good amount of us unite!

I support and stand with Standing Rock and their peaceful fight, our fight! I am grateful for them and I pray for vindication and justice to be served!

Those ruling entities grasping at straws for power should be scared, they should be worried, they should be willing to retreat, they should be willing to stand down and allow the future to be birthed rightfully and freely so, as we want it. What future do you want? Looking back on history, what will you say to your grandchildren, what will your family’s legacy be?

For me, when I stared into that big oil execs eyes a few weeks back, vulnerably exposed, shaking, standing tall but crying and praying for him, all while worried that the riot cops were going to make me their next victim before I could get away . . .

I saw a brief glimpse of that fear in his eyes, that shame, that he knew what he was involved in was wrong.

I see now, despite the evil and oppression they've exhibited.

The propaganda, the lies, the backassward folks pouring out of the woodwork acting as if they’re justified for their racist and ignorant upbringing . . . A

ll that has happened and taken place . . . clearly shows that they are losing power, they are in the wrong, and that we can co-create so much more when we unite, accept differences, and appreciate another’s culture, another’s fundamental right . . .

I have no doubt that our brothers and sisters at Standing Rock with their allies, can do this, that we can help even from afar, to finally win what's rightfully theirs, ours . . . this is so much bigger than anything on the platter right now guys! Not dismissing any other injustices, pain or suffering . . . but humble yourselves . . . look deeply . . . this right here . . . this is an opportunity to right so many wrongs and to establish a strong foundation for the future we're headed towards . . . the one we want to be headed towards . . . soak it in, pray on it, feel it, breath it in and out . . . let it flow . . . let’s get it together . . .


Sending so much love and hugs out to you all!!


Leave your anger at home we will no doubt encounter hostility from various sources - prepare yourself mentally for that but also prepare yourself for the power of 2,000 Veterans from every corner of this country coming together with no regard for race, color, gender, politics, religious affiliation...nothing but a commitment to the oath they signed to protect this country and its people. An oath that cannot be unsigned, that promise of service and honor.

The eyes of the world are upon you now, and now more than ever we need this action to succeed.

Help make this a success for humanity and reminder that every soldier is a hero, everyday."

Friday, November 25, 2016

The Harder We Fall

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The bigger your awakening bliss... the harder you will fall...

A person can struggle to fully awaken, if they’ve already had one or more smaller awakenings. Because they lock-on to that past experience - seeing it as a reference point, a goal, something to achieve, ‘get back again’ and maintain.

But this only takes them further from their perceived ‘goal’ of awakening.

Big awakening shifts are incredibly powerful - usually with many profound realisations, and weeks or months of walking around in a blissful and connected love state. It is inexplicably beautiful, but it can only last so long, because life has an even more beautiful way of making us face its truth…

Because nothing is permanent, and like all states and experiences, our apparent ‘awakening’ inevitably comes to an end, and we are thrown right back into ego and suffering, often in the form of a ‘dark night of the soul’. During this painful time, all our conditioning comes up to the surface to be healed, and the more we resist, the longer the dark night lasts.

We may go through many awakenings and subsequent dark nights during a lifetime, and this is life’s way of showing us that wholeness contains both the dark and the light, and everything is to be embraced. But of course, we are often not ready to face this truth, and the more powerful and blissful our awakening experience was, the more devastated we feel when we lose that feeling.

A voice might scream inside our heads with frustration and exhaustion, ‘I had it, but now I’ve lost it!’ And then the tears and self-pity flow, with more abundance than we ever knew possible.

We react, by trying to get back ‘there’ - to that awakened state, to that simple knowing of stillness and unconditional wholeness.

We seek that amazing past experience, because we mistakenly believe that it is how awakening should feel all the time - that awakening is a fixed emotional state. We want to get that taste of enlightenment back again, and we beat ourselves up for not being able to ‘maintain’ it.

In truth, we never ‘had’ anything, and we never ‘lost’ anything.

But it’s a very seductive and powerful trap, and the bigger our awakening bliss… the more easily we can fall for this trap, and the harder we fall.

So we keep on pounding our egos at the wall of illusion, endlessly seeking, in ever-growing suffering and frustration. We brutally reject ourselves for not being able to maintain our ‘spiritual’ identity, for not being good enough, for failing. Our dark nights can overwhelm and smother us with such intense self-hatred, that our past awakening experience seems like a distant candle of lost hope, flickering and fading in the gust of our desperation.

The more we seek what we thought we had, the further we take ourselves from recognizing that we already are it.

But there is another way – the way of self-compassion and acceptance - we can choose to stop seeking, give up the chase, let go of all our ideas and expectations about ourselves and awakening, cast aside our fears, and stand in fierce surrender to the absolute truth of life.

And when we fully surrender, it means we fully embrace and accept all aspects of ourselves, including our suffering. This is a radical act of self-love, and through this beautiful act of being, our suffering transcends into bittersweet pain, slowly losing its grip, until it dissolves completely in the power of our fearless acceptance of what is.

And then we truly wake up, to the reality that awakening is not about trying to live in bliss all the time. It’s about accepting every aspect of every moment as it arises, and right here, right in the heart of this moment, through our ultimate acceptance, we notice an effortless bliss, freedom and an end to our suffering. Pain is still present, but it is embraced and loved, just as much as more ‘desirable’ emotions. Everything is welcomed, invited, embraced and loved, in the wholeness that we are, by the wholeness that we are.

And then we see the perfection in all of it - the bigger our awakening bliss and the more deeply we experienced that unconditional love… the harder we fall and the more deeply we suffered afterwards. And in that painfully vast depth of feelings and emotions, we discover vastly richer and more beautiful expressions of life to embrace and love. And we know that we are blessed.

So we can allow ourselves to fall into our dark nights, plunging heart-first into the depths of who we are, knowing that if we truly surrender, we will discover all the love, acceptance and wholeness that we once thought we had, and once thought we’d lost.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

People Are Deluded

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The Buddha said people are deluded.

This Is why when they act they fall into the river of endless rebirth. And when they try to get out they only sink deeper. And all because they don't see their nature. If people weren't deluded why would they ask about something right in front of them?

Not one of they understands the movement of his own hands and feet. The Buddha wasn't mistaken.

Deluded people don't know who they are. A Buddha and no one else know something so hard to fathom.

Only the wise knows mind, this mind call nature, this mind called liberation. Neither life nor death can restrain this mind.

Nothing can. It's also called the Unstoppable Tathagata," the Incomprehensible, the Sacred Self, the Immortal, the Great Sage. Its names vary but not its essence. Buddhas vary too, but none leaves his own mind. The mind's capacity is limitless, and its manifestations are inexhaustible.

Seeing forms with your eyes, hearing sounds with your ears, smelling odors with your nose, tasting flavors with your tongue, every movement or state is your entire mind. At every moment, where language can't go, that's your mind.

The sutras say, "A Tathagata's forms are endless. And so is his awareness." The endless variety of forms is due to the mind. Its ability to distinguish things, whatever their movement or state, is the mind's awareness.

But the mind has no form and its awareness no limit.

Hence it's said, "A Tathagata's forms are endless. And so is his awareness." A material body of the four elements" is trouble.

A material body is subject to birth and death. But the real body exists without existing, because a Tathagata's real body never changes.

The sutras say,

"People should realize that the buddha-nature is something they have always had."

Kashyapa only realized his own nature.

Our nature is the mind.

And the mind is our nature.

This nature is the same as the mind of all Buddhas. Buddhas of the past and future only transmit this mind.

Beyond this mind there's no Buddha anywhere.

But deluded people don't realize that their own mind is the Buddha.

They keep searching outside.

They never stop invoking Buddhas or worshipping Buddhas and wondering Where is the buddha?

Don't indulge in such illusions.

Just know your mind.

Beyond your mind there's no other Buddha.

The sutras say,

"Everything that has form is an illusion."

They also say,

"Wherever you are, there's a Buddha."

Your mind is the Buddha.

Don't use a Buddha to worship a Buddha.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Death Is Nothing

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Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again...

Monday, November 21, 2016

All I Ask

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I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before you know
So why don't we just play pretend
Like we're not scared of what's coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don't wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Soon I Will Be Gone

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I am only 24 years old, yet I have actually already chosen my last tie. It’s the one that I will wear on my funeral a few months from now. It may not match my suit, but I think it’s perfect for the occasion.

The cancer diagnosis came too late to give me at least a tenuous hope for a long life, but I realized that the most important thing about death is to ensure that you leave this world a little better than it was before you existed with your contributions . The way I’ve lived my life so far, my existence or more precisely the loss of it, will not matter because I have lived without doing anything impactful.

Before, there were so many things that occupied my mind. When I learned how much time I had left, however, it became clear which things are really important. So, I am writing to you for a selfish reason. I want to give meaning to my life by sharing with you what I have realized:

Don’t waste your time on work that you don’t enjoy. It is obvious that you cannot succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come easily only when you love what you do.

It’s stupid to be afraid of others’ opinions. Fear weakens and paralyzes you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a shell of yourself. Listen to your inner voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but some may even think you‘re a legend.

Take control of your life Take full responsibility for the things that happen to you. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier life. Find a sport that makes you happy. Most of all, don’t procrastinate. Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t.

Appreciate the people around you Your friends and relatives will always be an infinite source of strength and love. That is why you shouldn’t take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I'm not upset because I understand that the last days of my life have become meaningful. I only regret that I will not be able to see a lot of cool stuff that should happen soon like the creation of AI, or Elon Musk’s next awesome project. I also hope that the war in Syria and Ukraine will end soon.

We care so much about the health and integrity of our body that until death, we don’t notice that the body is nothing more than a box - a parcel for delivering our personality, thoughts, beliefs and intentions to this world. If there is nothing in this box that can change the world, then it doesn’t matter if it disappears. I believe that we all have potential, but it also takes a lot of courage to realize it.

You can float through a life created by circumstances, missing day after day, hour after hour. Or, you can fight for what you believe in and write the great story of your life. I hope you will make the right choice.

Leave a mark in this world. Have a meaningful life, whatever definition it has for you. Go towards it. The place we are leaving is a beautiful playground, where everything is possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful little planet that flies with incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe. So, enjoy your time here with passion. Make it interesting. Make it count!

Thank you!

Friday, November 18, 2016

GoFundMe - I Need Your Help

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Please follow me on Facebook by clicking on link on the left.

Recently diagnosed with Lymphoma, I need help with expenses.

Here us a link to my GoFundMe

This Is All We Know

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Fighting flames of fire
Hang onto burning wires
We don't care anymore

Are we fading lovers?

We keep wasting colors
Maybe we should let this go
We're falling apart, still we hold together
We've passed the end, so we chase forever

'Cause this is all we know
This feeling's all we know

I'll ride my bike up to the road
Down the streets right through the city
I'll go everywhere you go
From Chicago to the coast

You tell me,

“Hit this and let's go, blow the smoke right through the window”

'Cause this is all we know

Never face each other
One bed, different covers
We don’t care anymore
Two hearts still beating
On with different rhythms

Maybe we should let this go

We're falling apart, still we hold together
We've passed the end, so we chase forever

'Cause this is all we know

Are You Ready To Jump?

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For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I trust you have the strength to start over.

This is life.

People will screw you over. You’ll fight with your family. You’ll witness things that will change you forever. You’ll blame new lovers for things old lovers did. You’ll lose best friends you thought would always be there. You’ll come to realize that everyone has a past.

You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, and you’ll embarrass yourself.

But then, you’ll find your very own moment where none of that matters; where you can sit back and realize that shit happens to the people who can handle it and that this is who you are, and that no one should want to change you, including yourself.

It amazes me how easy it is for things to change, how easy it is to start off down the same road you always take and wind up somewhere new. Just one false step, one pause, one detour, and you end up with new friends or a bad reputation or a boyfriend or a breakup.

It’s never occurred to me before; I’ve never been able to see it. And it makes me feel, weirdly, like maybe all of these different possibilities exist at the same time, like each moment we live has a thousand other moments layered underneath it that look different.

It’s amazing how at one point in our lives we will be extremely close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger.

You will pass by them without a word. Without a single acknowledging look. This person, who once knew you so well, who once knew your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past, is now walking right past you, seeing right through you.

Right now I want a word that describes the feeling you get – a cold sick feeling, deep down inside – when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don’t want it to, but you can’t stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again quite be the same person you were.

Don’t you long for something different to happen, something so new and exciting it carries you along with it like a great tide, something that lets your life blaze and burn so the whole world can see it?

I’m not going to spend my life chasing people.

You wanna leave? Fine then, go ahead.

‘Cause I’m done with chasing and caring for people who never had interest in me.

Nothing lasts and people change.

I’ve learned love is hard and life is strange.

At this age, everything is changing. Day by day...we don’t notice, but just look back over the past year and you will realize everything has.

People you thought were going to be there forever aren’t, and people you never imagined you’d be speaking to are now some of your closest friends.

Life makes little sense, and the more we grow the less sense it will make.

So make the most of it now, before it all changes once again, because in the near future, all of this is only going to be memories.

You’re afraid to do things or try something new, but in the end, if you don’t take chances, you’re going to shut out the best things in life.

You know it’s been said that we just don’t recognise the significant moments of our lives while they are happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it’s usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you’ve realized how wrong you’ve been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it.

At some point, you’ve just got to jump.

There's only so much you can learn in one place. The more that I wait, the more time that I waste.

I haven't got much time to waste it's time to make my way, I'm not afraid of what I'll face but I'm afraid to stay in one place.

I'm going down my road and I can make it alone, I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own.

Are you ready to jump?

Get ready to jump, don't ever look back...just take my hand and get ready to jump!

I've  learned my lessons from the start...that the only thing I can depend on are my friends.

Life's gonna drop you down like the limbs from a tree...It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see.

Are you ready?

There's only so much you can learn in one place, the more that you wait, the more time that you waste.

We will make it alone, Dan and me.

You’ve got to quit being scared of the “maybes” and “what-ifs” and just fucking jump.

Quit cheating yourself out of the best thing that could ever happen to you, and just fall. Fall hard, fall long, and fall forever.

When you start to see people change, you start to wonder if they were like this in the beginning, and if you just never noticed it.

But don’t forget you once loved who they were before. Don’t take it out on them for changing, because nobody stays the same. We all grow and we all change.

People leave and things they change.

You will never get all that you want, that’s why we gotta learn to live with what we’ve do have. And no matter how much, or how little, always take comfort in knowing that someone, somewhere loves you with all of their heart.

You might not know who just yet but I promise you that there is someone out there who will give you their all, with no hesitations.

Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes, change may not be what we want.

Sometimes, change is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you’ll never have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible.

Sometimes, change is too much to bear.

But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.

No matter how long it takes, it will get better. No matter how many tears there will always be a time when your eyes stop crying and your eyes start shining again. Just know that everything will be alright no matter what you, he, or she thinks. Because life is nothing but a big elastic band. Stretched to one end, it will always bounce back the beginning, in the end.

I don’t think feelings change, nor people. I think situations change.

I know that it’s possible to dislike someone after loving them so much or to love someone after feeling so much hate towards them but, it’s not because people change, it’s because it’s not the same anymore. It’s because something made you think differently, something opened your eyes, something caused you to see everyday the way it is at last.

It’s like days.

Days can be cloudy, or days can be sunny but days don’t change, the weather does. And nothing can play a part in that or fix that, they can just let it be.

Are you ready to Jump?

Phoenix - out

A Clear Message - Stop War

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As long as I am alive, and with my last breath, I protest! 

Stop this fighting....and end all wars!!!

Come you masters of war
You that build the big guns
You that build the death planes
You that build all the bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten all the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you sit back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
While the young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
That even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good?
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could?
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
By the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand o'er your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead

Monday, November 14, 2016

When I Die

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To children and old men that wait to die, and if you need to cry.

Cry for your brother walking the street beside you and when you need me, put your arms around anyone and give to them what you need to give to me.

I want to leave you something.

Something better than words or sounds... look for me in the people I’ve known and loved. If you cannot give me away, at least let me live in your eyes and not on your mind.

You can love me most by letting hands touch hands... by letting bodies touch bodies.... by letting go of children that need to be free.

Love doesn’t die...

...people do.

So, when all that’s left of me is love...

...give me away.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Conspiracy Theorist

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You have mercury in your teeth; you’ve been injected dozens of times with mercury, aluminum and multiple other excitotoxins and neutoxins, you’re breathing nanaparticle aluminum, barium salts and lithium, your food has been poisoned with heay metals, aspartame, monosodium, glutamate and dozens of other neutoxins, your municpal water is poisoned with brain destroying hydrofluorosilic acid, lead, aluminum, chlorine and other neutoxins; you’ve been indoctrinated in globalist public schools, mesmerized and mind controlled by globalist-controled news and entertainment media and “your” government continually lies to you, threatens you with violence and scares you into submission with false-flag attacks.

So, No, I'm neither surprised nor upset when you post stupid arguments and call me a “conspiracy theorist”.

I understand, and I forgive you.

Tuesday, October 04, 2016

I Have Lymphoma

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Someone recently asked me how I felt about being diagnosed with lymphoma. I told them it felt like I had been dropped in the middle of the sea with no lifejacket, no boat - no equipment to help me. I didn’t have time to think about how I was going to get to the other side, I just had to deal with it. I knew that thinking ‘Why me?’ wouldn’t help; I had to stay strong and focus on myself in order to get to the other side.

I had to rise up.

I had been traveling around the states the last few years and ended up here in Yuba City. 

I was not going through the best time and was feeling ill quite regularly. I thought it could be depression because of things that were going on at the time. I decided to see a specialist since I have been dealing with an immune system deficiency problem for over 30 years and thought it might have something to do with it.  I had been feeling exhausted a lot of the time and often had these strange dizzy spells.

I found a lump on my neck and was initially told it could be Tuberculosis or Lymphoma and was told I would need to have a biopsy to make a determination.  Then I got a phone call from my doctor informing me that the initial test were coming in negative for cancer, which was good, but he would need to send the node to Stanford for more test.

One week later it was diagnosed with significant traces of Hodgkin’s “like” cells; it WAS Lymphoma. I was told that I have a rare case of Lymphoma and that it is treatable, however there are variables to consider such as age, t-cells, health etc… that the majority of people come through this well.

I will be seeking treatment in Reno, Nevada and am relocating there in a few days.  This cancer scare isn’t new to me. I have been dealing with health issues for years; colon cancer, anal cancer, both of which I had tumors removed.

I still don’t know how I feel about this recent diagnosis of lymphoma, but having been dealing with cancer for years; I feel strong that I can fight it.

Having said that, naturally there is always part of me that is looking over my shoulder.

But no matter what happens, I must rise up.

I’m broken down and tired of living life on a merry-go-round and you can't find the fighter but I see it in you so we gonna walk it out and move mountains.

And I'll rise up, I'll rise like the day.  I'll rise up, I'll rise unafraid. I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousand times again, and I'll rise up, high like the waves.  I'll rise up, In spite of the ache.  I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousand times again.

When the silence isn't quiet and it feels like it's getting hard to breathe….I know I feel like dying but I promise I'll take the world to it's feet and move mountains.

Bring it to it's feet and move mountains.

I will rise
I will rise

Sunday, August 07, 2016

Being Happy Not Good Business

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Being happy isn’t very good for the economy.

If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more?

How do you sell an anti-aging moisturiser?

You make someone worry about aging.

How do you get people to vote for a political party?

You make them worry about immigration.

How do you get them to buy insurance?

By making them worry about everything.

How do you get them to have plastic surgery?

By highlighting their physical flaws.

How do you get them to watch a TV show?

By making them worry about missing out.

How do you get them to buy a new smartphone?

By making them feel like they are being left behind.

To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act.

To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence.

To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Boycott Presidential Election

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When you are emotionally manipulated into choosing who to vote for because fear of the other person scares you more than the insane person on your team, well, I mean.... come on..... really?

And people claim to be "awake" and "see" things clearly and say they know that the system is rigged... yet will run right out and "vote" even if the rigged system is providing both choices, and both choices are corrupt liars who will do whatever is necessary to get a vote.... mind blown.

Wake me up when its all over. They are both liars and corrupt, this is an understatment. And No, I was no Bernie Supporter either, I understand more taxation and socialism are not the way, but Clinton and Trump. Really?

These are your choices, and with all the evidence against both, and with critical thinking applied - that neither are the answer to the rigged system everyone claims to be tired of, one of these insane people will be the next Puppet to read off teleprompters, start more wars, and continue the current system as those Puppets before them....... WOW.

Look how easily some of you are swayed to abandon your own conscience and replace it with "but" , because you allow your emotions to be swayed by forces outside of yourself..... and we dare speak of Truth and Freedom??? Really??? I am at a loss for what I am watching happen sometimes.

America’s celebrates its 240th birthday.

When historians conduct their autopsy on Lady Justice, that will be the time of death.

That is the precise moment when Justice drew her last labored breath, cursed our ridiculous country and our hopelessly corrupt government, and collapsed.

Sure, she’d been in bad shape for a while, but there was no surviving the final blow. When it is explicitly announced and made public that the wealthiest and most elite and most liberal are indeed above the law, the charade of “law” cannot continue.

There is no law.

We are living under the rule of men, not of law. We are subject to the whims of petty tyrants and bureaucrats.

They are subject to no one on Earth.

So far we have seen evidence of massive election fraud all across the country, which gives us reason to believe that the fraud will continue.

Our president Barack Obama and the U.S. State Department have done nothing about the obvious rigging of our elections, which gives us reasonable suspicion that our government and the integrity of our electoral process has been compromised in order to place their chosen candidate in power against the will of the American people.

The U.S. State Dept. says that a discrepancy in exit polls of more than 2% indicates fraud, we have had discrepancies outside of that margin in at least 16 of the state primaries all the way up to a discrepancy of 23%.

These discrepancies have only happened in one of our political parties and they have all been in favor of one candidate. On top of the exit poll discrepancies there has been reports of ballots cast in the names of deceased citizens, patients of mental hospitals, and elderly people with dementia.

There has been reports of registration purging, switching of party affiliations, vote flipping, and massive voter suppression.

Not to mention the millions of voters who have not been allowed to vote because they do not claim any party affiliation.

Multiple major universities have calculated that in order to get our current results without election fraud, the odds would be 1 in 70 billion.

This level of election fraud is usually only done covertly and in 3rd world countries, now it's being done openly and blatantly in the United States.

Our democracy is being stolen and we very well maybe on the brink of a dictatorship, we can no longer trust our government and we need help from the outside.

So we are respectively requesting the U.N. to step in and assess the integrity of our electoral process.

We also request that you review the apparent fraud of our current results and ensure credibility and transparency moving forward.

We feel that your help is imperative to avoid an inevitable major conflict in the U.S. due to corruption in our government.

Trump is known to be a demagogue, which is a person, especially an orator or political leader, who attempts to gain power by arousing people’s emotions and prejudices.

The shaping of the will of Congress and the choosing of the American president has become a privilege reserved to the country’s equestrian classes, a.k.a. the 20% of the population that holds 93% of the wealth, the happy few who run the corporations and the banks, own and operate the news and entertainment media, compose the laws and govern the universities, control the philanthropic foundations, the policy institutes, the casinos, and the sports arenas.

Don't be fooled by the political games, and absurdity of our sickening and corrupt government. 

Do not vote! 

Send a strong message to your government; stopping the perpetuation of this Illusion of Freedom being shoved down our throats...

When principles that run against my deepest convictions begin to win the day, then battle is my calling...I must, at the price of dearest peace, lay my convictions bare before family, friends and enemy, with all the fire of my truth.

When a politician tells us that he'll stick to his beliefs when in office, we usually murmur something about corporate interests and "the fat cats in City Hall."

Well, it turns out that politicians are the ones who should be cynical about us. Science is finding that some pretty weird stuff can make us forget what we stand for on Election Day. At least the politicians are being swayed by briefcases full of cash.

With us, it can be things as simple as ...

Ever since JFK out-sexied Nixon during the first-ever televised presidential debates, looks have mattered in politics.

Studies have shown that more attractive politicians get greater press coverage and more air time and of course, the best thing you can do if you are a lady politician is hit the gym.

But looks also matter in ways you might not expect when it comes to which politicians people vote for, and being the most attractive isn't always the most important thing.

When it comes to men, being fit and attractive is helpful but nothing compared with being overweight.

Apparently, voters see more rotund male candidates as more trustworthy and even more inspiring than their thinner competition.

Other very detailed studies have shown that we tend to favor men with specific facial characteristics, which basically boils down to voting for more distinguished-looking gentlemen as opposed to "baby-faced" candidates.

It doesn't even matter what the candidates' policies are. Studies show that when people are presented with pictures of politicians for even a second and know absolutely nothing about the politicians' beliefs or what party they are in, certain candidates will always come out on top.

And since that's the first thing you find out about a candidate, some guys are coming from behind to begin with.

According to a study at MIT this phenomenon isn't limited by where you vote. People in different countries continually find certain candidates more trustworthy and electable based on their looks, no matter how different their cultures. And as long as those politicians are guys, it is the chubby yet distinguished-looking ones every time.

Anyone who has voted knows that the government isn't picky about what constitutes a "public polling place."

The motto seems to be: If it would be considered slightly below average for a weekly bingo game, it's good enough for the linchpin of democracy.

On Election Day, you might find yourself voting anywhere from a supermarket parking lot to some dude's garage -- as long as it can fit some curtained cubicles and a couple of old ladies making sure you don't cheat off your neighbor.

In addition to making you feel worse about America, the location where you cast your ballot might actually be brainwashing you with subtle environmental factors you don't even notice.

For instance, studies have shown that if your local polling place is a school, you will vote yes for more school initiatives on the ballot, especially if there are teachers or students nearby. Using exit polling data, the studies found that this was the case even if the measures were not something the voters would typically support.

Boycott Presidential Elections

Sunday, July 24, 2016

I Choose My Path

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I cannot be part of a world where men dress their wives as prostitutes by showing everything that should be cherished.

Where there is no concept of honor and dignity, and one can only rely on those when they say “I promise” .

Where women do not want children, and men don’t want a family.

Where the suckers believe themselves to be successful behind the wheel of their fathers` cars, and a father who has a little bit of power is trying to prove to you that you’re a nobody.

Where people falsely declare that they believe in God with a shot of alcohol in their hand, and the lack of any understanding of their religion.

Where the concept of jealousy is considered shameful, and modesty is a disadvantage.

Where people forgot about love, but are simply looking for the best partner.

Where people repair every rustle of their car, not sparing any money or time on themselves...they look so poor that only an expensive car can hide it.

Where the boys waste their parents money in nightclubs, aping under the primitive sounds, and girls fall in love with them for this.

For those who choose a different path-get branded as retarded despots.

I choose my path, but it’s a pity that I did not find similar understanding in the people among whom I wished to find it most of all ….

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Taking Care Of My "self"

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A year ago I started writing a few posts about how I needed to focus on my health. But was very busy with Project Phoenix Rising.

I recently closed the project with a 100% success rate.

I was diagnosed with anal cancer years ago and have had a few tumors removed.  A recommendation of chemo and radiation was suggested, but I respectfully declined. 

Today I am facing a new health scare....Lymphoma for which I am scheduled to have a biopsy to confirm diagnosis.

I'm the strongest person you'll ever meet when I'm battling for somebody else, but when it's me, not so much.

I lost all motivation with my blog.

I’ve gained about fifteen pounds, but I’ve not been taking care of myself.  It’s time to focus on my health again, and not on the scale.

I've realized how much of what you must do involves the word “self”. No accident there. To be self-focused doesn’t preclude being other-focused.

To be a healthy, balanced person, you must be both.

However, all the time I've  been taking care of others, I've lost ground focusing on me.

I am going to have to start paying lots more attention to my wants and needs.

I began reflecting on my inner workings and am able to express my desires. Being self-focused means getting to know every inch of myself, understanding my "self" as best I can by staying connected to what brings me pleasure and pain and every feeling in between.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Racism Declared Mental Illness

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Question:  Why do we hate?
Answer:  Because we are ignorant.

We are taught to hate by ignorant people, who were taught an ignorant thing; that there are 4 or 5 different races. This is NOT true. 

There is only one race on this planet, and we are all members of that race.

The human race.

We have seperated us so that some people can see themselves as superior to the others.

We need to get over this; there is no gene for bigotry. 

I hear people say that racism is inbred, no it is not. Racism is not part of the human condition. Racism is a learned response.  You aren't born a bigot, you are taught by your parents to be a bigot/racist.

We are born into a racist society.

Like anything else if you can learn it, you can unlearn it. People like this choose not to unlearn it because they are afraid they will lose power if they share it with other people.

They are afraid of sharing power, that’s what it’s all about.

What we’re dealing here with is mental illness.

Racism is mental illness.

Racism was defined by the President’s Joint Council On Mental Health In Children in 1959 as being the number one mental health problem among children in the United States.

They didn’t say ‘among black children,’ they said ‘among children.’

The purpose with this post, is to lead people out if ignorance by thinking that you are better than someone else because of an amount of chemical in the pigment of your skin.

Pigmentation of your skin does not determine your intelligence or your worth as a human being.

If you judge other people by the color of their skin, by the amount of a chemical in their skin, you have a mental problem.

You are not dealing well with reality.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016


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I believe that everyone has the right to an opinion, unless your opinion is stupid.

I grew up learning that you should respect everyone’s opinions, no matter how different from your own it may be, respect is essential, however,  I was the would happily call you out if you said something that was not true.

Opinions are such weird things.

We live in a society where we are uncensored; we say whatever we want, whatever we believe to be true, but then what about when someone says something that seems illogical, biased and silly?

Are their opinions less valid?

Should they not be allowed to voice that opinion?

People say,

"’s fine to have that opinion but just keep it to yourself in order not to offend."

But that makes me question, why are some opinions considered more worthy of voicing than others?

A clear example of this in the world today is how willing our society is to shut down religious points of view altogether in favor of a more truthful views.

Isn’t that robbing religious people of the same freedom of speech that, everyone is entitled to?

Someone may ask why he isn’t allowed to share his viewpoint because it’s a free country and he has free speech, but free speech is not an excuse to offend.

I feel that people should be allowed to have their own opinions and we are allowed to question those opinions and opinions are allowed to change.

Opinions should be backed by truth, not ideology or faith, but let's stop hiding under the guise of free speech in order to spew out bullshit.

None of us are immune to dumb opinions.

Even the smartest and most aware of us can suffer from a lapse in judgment or a belief and information, or be unaware of an intellectual blind spot, or even allow our feelings and our feelings about ourselves to cloud our judgments.  

A very wise man once said, there are a billion ways to squeeze an orange, but only one way you get juice.

Sunday, July 03, 2016

4th Of July Bullshit

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Don't buy into today's patriotic crap. The 4th of July patriotic nonsense is designed to make you an unthinking tool of the right. The American Revolution is the biggest hoax perpetrated on the American public since the Holocaust.

In point of fact:

it didn't happen!

Think about it. The myth-makers want you to believe that a nation of British colonists, who happened to be more prosperous than their British overseers, rose up against the British King in open rebellion! Yeah, right.

Successful farmers, businessmen, laborers and lawyers threw away all they had worked for and joined together in this rebellion. This alone is reason enough to disprove the myth. The myth makers want us to believe that wealthy and content colonists shed their blood and livelihoods contesting the most powerful military force in the world for the single reason that a stupid and insignificant tax on stamps interfered with their effete concept of individual liberty!

I just watched a patriotic movie on TV called "The Howards of Virginia." The producers (and the pandering network that aired this saccharine, nationalistic film) want us to believe that 18th century farmers and plantation owners left their comfortable estates unattended to join Washington's pitiful band of ragtag miscreants.

According to the movie, these farmers were away from home shooting redcoats for several years, allowing their fields to go fallow and their slaves unattended. Supposedly, after the war, these gallant, rich farmers returned home and picked up the pieces where they left off, as if time had stood still.

Pure bullshit!

Any reasonable man knows that untended slaves would runaway, and unpaid property taxes would result in seizure of their farms by the local authorities for delinquent property taxes. Use your head! Such patriotic trash can make sense only if we abandon our reason and common sense!

Are we to believe these patriotic farmer/soldiers -- with barely a frozen potato to share among them and only rags to bind their feet -- marched hundreds of miles to trap and defeat Cornwallis -- the most brilliant General in the world at the time?

Never happened! Couldn't happen! Never mind that most of the colonists were Tories loyal and sympathetic to the King. Most early Americans loved their King!

The revolutionaries were merely a handful of misguided terrorists.

The tall tales of Washington at Valley Forge purport to be true American history.

Read the myth and laugh folks.

The conditions described would stop a modern army of professional soldiers in their tracks, much less a band of gentlemen farmers:

Many wounded soldiers from previous battles died from exposure. Long marches had destroyed shoes. Blankets were scarce. Tattered garments were seldom replaced. At one point these shortages caused nearly 4,000 men to be listed as unfit for duty. Undernourished and poorly clothed, living in crowded, damp quarters, the army was ravaged by sickness and disease. Typhoid, jaundice, dysentery, and pneumonia were among the many diseases that killed 2,500 men that winter.

Even the myth of Valley Forge belies itself, for it says that these pathetic warrior citizens tried to desert and Washington had them shot for it!

But the most ridiculous aspect of the myth is that these pathetic souls endured it all for a fucking abstract idea.

Liberty? Freedom?


Richard Trumka, President of the AFL-CIO union has exposed this absurdity for what it is, pure extremist right wing propaganda:

Let's call this right-wing "freedom" catch phrase what it really is: a grossly political strategy to dupe the public, which holds the word "freedom" as something sacred.
Our Department of Homeland Security is spreading the real truth as well:

A new study funded by the Department of Homeland Security characterizes Americans who are “suspicious of centralized federal authority,” and “reverent of individual liberty” as “extreme right-wing” terrorists.

Two hundred years ago people may not have had computers, but they weren't stupid. Take a look at this picture and tell me you would suffer the indignities shown in defense of a single, nebulous "sacred" idea.

The absurdity of it all sickens me!

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Little Black Sandles

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I'm being dragged down, down by the hand
The hand of a golden giant man
He's crushing my knuckles
Splitting my skin

He says,

"he'll let go if only I'd ask it of him"

He says

"Boy, it's your wanna fly"

So I shout,

"I wanna get away from you, as fast as I can...I tell my feet to move it...I hope they have a plan"

These little black sandals
Are walking me away
These little black sandals
Are heading the right way

These little black sandals
Are walking me away
These little black sandals
Saved my life today

So now I'm free
From the big bad giant
Who was stalking me

Thank you feet, for guiding me
I'm glad somehow I got brains down there, at least

These little black sandals
Are walking me away
These little black sandals
Are heading the right way

Sometimes I'm tempted
Sometimes I am
I would be lying if I said I didn't miss that giant man
He was the line between pleasure and pain
But me and the feet have some years to reclaim

These little black sandals
Are walking me away
These little black sandals
Are heading the right way

These little black sandals
Are walking me away
These little black sandals
Saved my life today

It's Not Enough To BeLIEve

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It is important to understand that mystical religion is radically different from non-mystical religion in insisting that nothing short of direct experience of God is enough.

It is not enough to believe that God exists.

It is not enough to believe that God has incarnated to bring spiritual salvation to the world.

It is not enough to go to a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple or to participate in the forms or rituals of religion.

It is not enough to pray, meditate, perform charitable acts, visit places of pilgrimage, fast, endure other physical austerities, study holy books, or associate with holy persons.

It is not enough to undergo psychotherapy.

Nothing short of direct experience of God is enough.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Fuck Society

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What is it about society that disappoints you so much?

Is it that we collectively thought Steve Jobs was a great man even when we knew he made billions off the backs of children?

Or maybe it's that it feels like all our heroes are counterfeit; the world itself's just one big hoax. Spamming each other with our burning commentary of bullshit masquerading as insight, our social media faking as intimacy.

Or is it that we voted for this? Not with our rigged elections, but with our things, our property, our money.

I'm not saying anything new. We all know why we do this, not because Hunger Games books makes us happy but because we wanna be sedated. Because it's painful not to pretend, because we're cowards.

Fuck Society.

Thursday, May 19, 2016


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re·search (ˈrēˌsərCH,rəˈsərCH)

1. the systematic investigation into and study of materials and sources in order to establish facts and reach new conclusions.

"Never take someone else's word, do you own research."

I'm currently seeking treatment to have yet another tumor removed.

In the meantime, check out the topics I plan to write about.... (see pic)

Phoenix - out.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Angel Flying To Close To The Ground

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I knew someday that you would fly away, for love's the greatest healer to be found, so leave me if you need to, I will still remember...

Fly on, fly on past, the speed of sound, I'd rather see you up than see you down...So leave me if you need to, I will still remember...

...Good-bye Dad.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Acharya S/D.M. Murdock Memoriam

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With the passing of a dear friend and great scholar, Acharya trusted in the statement,

"Love is the power over all."
Most are aware by now that a tragedy occurred as Acharya S/D.M. Murdock passed away due to cancer on December 25th, 2015. The cancer became resistant and came back very aggressively and took over her immune system and liver. Chemo-sensitivity testing revealed that absolutely nothing available can stop this type of cancer at this time. She worked so hard to defeat this cancer as everything she ate or drank was anti-cancerous because she did not want to die and leave her son and her work.

We are all devastated.

I have just lost a great friend. It was a privilege and an honor to know her. She was truly extraordinarily special.

The grief I feel for such a loss is heartbreaking.

D.M. Murdock, aka Acharya S was an independent scholar of comparative religion and mythology She was classically educated at some of the finest schools, receiving a degree in Classics and Greek Civilization, from Franklin & Marshall College. D.M. Murdock was also a member of one of the world's most exclusive institutes for the study of Ancient Greek Civilization, the American School of Classical Studies at Athens, Greece.

Acharya S was not only a significant contributor to breaking through the barriers of ancient religions through exposing their mythical characters but was the first woman to expose the male dominated world of religion that has become a manipulation and control of human kind for political and religions agenda's of power over the unquestioning masses.

Murdock served as a trench master on archaeological excavations in Corinth, Greece, and Connecticut, USA, as well as a teacher's assistant on the island of Crete. Murdock was proficient in English, Greek, French, Spanish, Italian, German, Portuguese just to name a few.

DM Murdock is the author of several books, including The Christ Conspiracy and Christ in Egypt: The Horus-Jesus Connection among many others. She was a proponent and leading scholar of the Christ myth theory. Her latest Book “Did Moses Exist? ” provides a massive amount of information from antiquity about the world's religious traditions and mythology, including how solar myths, wine cultivation and fertility cults have shaped the Bible and Judaism. This book is revered as the most comprehensive study to date on the subject of Moses.

She was a leader in the freethought movement and challenged the status quo. She showed us that it was okay to speak out against the unfair treatment of women in heavily religiously indoctrinated cultures. She challenged us to question everything including Jesus’ historicity. She inspired many people to learn more about the mythological origins of modern day religions.

D.M. Murdock/Acharya S spent a good portion of her career debunking Christianity.

I got chills up my spine when I learned that she passed away on Christmas, the same day she frequently cited as being the same birthday as various solar myth saviors. She was down to earth, beautiful, incredibly knowledgeable, extremely intelligent, honest, and straightforward.

She was all of this and much more to many.

A rare gem.

I hope her influential works continue to receive the attention and study they deserve academically.

When he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
Related Articles

The Christ Conspiracy
The Nature Of Reality

Monday, January 18, 2016

Project Phoenix Rising

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I've received many emails from my readers inquiring about my health, and why I haven't been posting articles.

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with Anal Cancer. The same type that Farrah Fawcett & Robert Kardashian succumbed to.

To actually hear my Dr. use The C-word filled me with dread thinking the worst.

When I got home, I took a little time to digest the information I had received. Once the initial shock had subsided, I was flooded with emotions.

Not only have I been living with a chronic virus for over 30 years, I get hit with this crap.

Well, I finally was able to come to terms with it all.

This sabbatical I took from my blog gave me the opportunity to stand back and reflect on my life. I made a new friend, changed my lifestyle and started embracing life more.

I wanted to start something new – my own personal project.

This is something I had wanted to do on a much larger scale but just hadn't the funds nor manpower to do so.

So I decided to start small...

...Project Phoenix Rising, Helping Lift People from The by one.

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr's birthday....MLK was destined to be a leader and influencer, because he was hand-selected to be a martyr for his cause.....or was he great because he chose to be?

MLK was a rare talent...a present-day Moses who would lead his people to the Promised Land.

But maybe ....just maybe his greatness was in making his own choice.

He chose to be generous.
He chose to be a leader.
He chose to be a great organizer.
He chose to reach out to people
He chose to keep working.

Most of us have faced the same threats and hatred that MLK faced during his lifetime.

What’s holding us back?

Why aren’t all of us more like MLK?

Well the truth of the matter is we can’t all be MLK's...but we can do everything in our power to make life better for the people around us, by giving generously.

I understand we all have innate human potential to be of service, to make a difference.

I understand that humanity’s biggest achievements arise from lone individuals who are willing to learn, and sharing with hearts of generosity.

We are all ...“standing on the shoulders of giants,” --Isaac Newton

I understand that with our social media and instant texts is now possible for anyone to make a bigger difference in the world if you CHOOSE to do so.

I had been thinking about this a lot in my own life....I wanted to be more generous. I wanted to make more of a difference.

How can I do the most good with what I have to offer, in the most efficient way possible?

Whether we realize it or not, we are all inter-connected.

No one is every truly alone.

Project Phoenix Rising is an organization that is set out to help people whose lives have destroyed by a set of circumstances outside of their control. PPR helps by providing several services, such as Financial Support, Housing, Employment Services, Spiritual Education and Guidance, Organic Healing, Organic Food Nutrition, Exercise, Meditation Practices, and most importantly ...LOVE.

Please stop by my page and give your support by clicking on the "Like" button.

Phoenix out -

Many people who are going through the early stages of the awakening process are no longer certain what their outer purpose is. What drives the world no longer drives them. Seeing the madness of our civilization so clearly, they may feel somewhat alienated from the culture around them. Some feel that they inhabit a no-man’s-land between two worlds. They are no longer run by the ego, yet the arising awareness has not yet become fully integrated into their lives. In my spiritual transition, through knowledge I have been led to a more deliberate and purposeful life. I have been able to understand myself better and not waste energy on self defeating thoughts. But most of all, I stopped my self destructive patterns, and am deliberately making my dreams come true. With this awareness I am able to find purpose in all that happens. As it turns out what I thought was incredibly random has actually been deliberate and full of purpose. I see this more and more as I get to know myself. I have been able to overcome certain circumstances which was very difficult at the time, however, it was these sometimes difficult situations that has allowed me to observe and examine life, as it is, and as it were. I am reborn once again, arisen from the ashes of a previous life with a strong connection to everyone and everything living and everything that it is alive. — ♥

Millions of Maya currently live in Central America. They are a vibrant and humble culture whose ancestors were sophisticated mathematicians and astronomers. They offer a unique perspective of our modern times as the end of the Mayan Long Count calendar approaches. The modern Maya traditions parallel the ancient Maya traditions. Honoring the Earth and the wisdom of their ancestors and traditions such as the fire ceremony are present in their culture today, just as they were centuries ago. As there are several different lineages within the Maya culture, this Sacred Day calendar is known by 2 different names: the Yucatecan Maya call it the Tzol’kin and the Maya from the highlands, particularly in Guatemala, refer to it as the Chol’qi. The Maya approach by deeply studying the nature of fundamental cycles, as well as astronomical cycles, and their synchronicity to human events. They are aware of the role human consciousness plays in connecting to, and obtaining information from nature. They speak of a year “zero” which is the transition between epochs of creation, what the Maya refer to as the change of Suns. The beginning of a New Age. —In Lak'ech ♥

In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself. You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems and suffer and understand, for all that is life —J. Krishnamurti

Patterns are hidden in plain sight, you just have to know where to look. Things most people see as chaos actually follows subtle laws of behavior; galaxies, plants, sea shells... The patterns never lie. Seven billion, eighty million and 360 of us live on this tiny planet. Think about all of the different people that you come in contact with on any given day: family, friends, coworkers and strangers going about their lives

Is everything connected? Is the world a predictable set of patterns? Can one person really make a difference? —Yes

If the human has a strong will within himself and really endeavors to bestow purity on his thoughts and feelings in his search for what is higher, then he very first and foremost must look after himself, practice in self-knowledge and change in all things that control him. So, he has not found, with the will and efforts, the path to his highest goal for a long time yet, whereby everything that he wishes in his evolution is given to him. Therefore, he must continue to steadily endeavor that everything that being a true human requires is given to him. For this neither false prophets, saviors, gurus, masters, enlightened ones and lofty ones, esoteric ones, preachers, priests and parochial powers nor "spiritual scientists", etc., are needed but rather only one's own consciousness-related effort through thoughts and feelings in a seeking, searching and discerning way as well as one's own change for the better. And if the human acts in this way, then he frees himself from the pressure of all pathological brooding and from the search for the truth in false prophets, saviors and other swindlers, liars and deceivers. If the human follows the right path, which he can find only within himself, then he regains the health of his consciousness, his thoughts and feelings as well as the psyche. Billy Meier >>

Defining Truth

Truth has been put on trial and judged by people who are devoted to lies. Truth corresponds to reality or “what is.” It is real. Truth is also correspondent in nature. Truth desires to appear; truth longs to become conscious; truth strives to know itself. There is truth in the stone, for the stone is here; and no power in the world, no god, no man, no demon, can destroy its existence. There is truth in the plant and its life can expand; the plant grows and blossoms and bears fruit. Its beauty is marvelous. There is truth in the animal; it moves about and perceives its surroundings; it distinguishes and learns to choose.

In a postmodern world that denies that truth can be known, the question is more important than ever to answer. What is truth? >>

The Age Of Aquarius

The Age Of Aquarius

2012 isn't the end of time, it is the beginning of a whole new reality. The more scholars study the writings of the ancient Mayans, the more they are convinced that 2012 was not prophesied to be the end of the world, but the moment which will herald a momentous shift in human consciousness. Aquarius is the experience of individuality, and can be highly autonomous. As the Fixed Air sign of the zodiac, Aquarius expresses focused mental energy, and can show a strong level of ingenuity. Although most people think of Aquarius as progressive, it also has the capacity for fanatical attachment to an idea or ideal. Aquarius is the rebel and anarchist, but can be unselfish and altruistic, much like Uranus, which rules this sign. Symbolized by the Water-Bearer, Aquarius pours forth ideas streaming from the mind; in its highest form this is stimulated by intuitive awareness. Aquarius seeks to develop the true, unconditional love of friendship. Its cool detachment can be directed in positive ways to bring about change, but can also seem hurtful on a personal level. Where you see Aquarius in your chart, you see your need for the unconventional, and for the development of your individuality.The Aquarians - The New Era Begins >>

To most people, the "Age of Aquarius" remains a vague phrase. Mankind stands today on the threshold of a new World Age. The concept of an imminent new Age — and the concurrent idea of the approaching end of the present Age — have been popularized (and commercialized) throughout all levels of society in recent years. Nevertheless, few people consciously understand what the transition to the Age of Aquarius actually implies. Esoterically, the cycle of World Ages traces an aspect of the spiritual evolution of consciousness. It has as its astrological basis the circle of the zodiac (hence, the "Age of Pisces," the "Age of Aquarius," etc.). Humanity evolves as a whole-expanding and developing the collective consciousness of the race — at the same time that each of its members is evolving in his or her own personal way. Individual evolution, therefore, proceeds simultaneously with and complements racial evolution.A New Age Dawning >>

True to Aquarian nature, the illusions surrounding these structures have been stripped away; concurrently, we've had other illusions dispelled in our personal lives that never made the national news. The control and power that these establishments and icons of order have had over us are about to be overthrown and revised by humanity as a whole. No longer will the majority be ruled by a few select individuals. As we begin to share and expand our ideals with others, we can now expect to move our personal spiritual visions in the physical world, creating higher laws and establishing a more Universal foundation based in metaphysics, truth, peace and wholeness. Now that we have mastered the art of being responsible for ourselves as individuals, we can begin a new millennium embracing the Aquarian ideal that each one of us carries the responsibility for the collective well-being of all humanity.Aquarius and Aquarians In The New Age >>

The Zeitgeist Series

The Zeitgeist Series

Zeitgeist refers to the ethos of a select group of people, that express a particular world view which is prevalent at a particular period of socio-cultural progression. Look at the world from a more critical perspective and to understand that very often things are not what the population at large think they are. In simple terms Zeitgeist, (pronounced "Zeit" like "Kite" and "geist" like "heist") means the spirit of the time; the spirit characteristic of an age or generation.Zeitgeist, the Movie >>

Zeitgeist Addendum, attempts to locate the root causes of this pervasive social corruption, while offering a solution based on a modern, non-superstitous understanding of what we are and how we align with nature, to which we are a part. The failure of our world to resolve the issues of war, poverty, and corruption, rests within a gross ignorance about what guides human behavior to begin with. It addresses the true source of the instability in our society, while offering the only fundamental, long-term solution.Zeitgeist, the Addendum >>

Modern psychology has a word that is probably used more than any other word in psychology.

It is the word "maladjusted".

I would like to say to you today that there are some things in our society and some things in our world of which I'm proud to be maladjusted. And I call upon all men of good will to be maladjusted to these things until the good society is realized.Zeitgeist III - Moving Forward >>

A Culture In Decline

A Culture In Decline

As you stumble around this experiment we call global society, you can't help but feel an increasing sense of unease, perhaps even frustration, with respect to how we, the human family, have chosen to organize ourselves on this little planet.I am an Agent & Victim of a Culture in Decline >>

Modest preemptive actions can obviate the need of more drastic actions at a later date. You think that you've been taught things like confidence intervals in an elementary statistical course that would let you do this; but if you really studied carefully, you'd know that they don't let you do this. A really principled frequentist can't produce a probability distribution. Perhaps it's no wonder then, while even with the ongoing economic failures across the world in inequality, increasing poverty, debt collapse, bank failures, unemployment rising, very few today seem to be able to understand, let alone discuss, modern economics.Modern Economics 101 >>

Marshall McLuhan once said that the last thing a fish would ever notice in its habitat is the water. Likewise, the most obvious and powerful realities of our human culture seem to also be the most unrecognized. It is only when we take pause, often at the risk of social alienation, to question the foundational principles and ideas to which our lives are oriented does a dark truth about our supposed 'normality' become more clear. Today, we live in an ocean with enormous waves of status obsession, materialism, vanity, ego and consumerism.Consumption Vanity Disorder - CVD >>

War! We love it, —right? Blowing stuff up, watching people suffer and die. It's exciting! Violence, domination, retribution and other attributes of this competitive warring fascination clearly dominates our media with films, television and other expressions constantly glorifying and reinforcing this gesture of conflict. In fact, it has been found that by the time an average kid reaches the age of 14 in the West, he or she has visually witnessed over 8,000 depicted acts of murder. Given all of this, it might make you wonder: Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art?War On Nature >>

Don Alejandro Perez Oxlaj - Wandering Wolf

Don Alejandro Perez Oxlaj, whose Mayan name is Wakatel Utiw, Wandering Wolf, is the 13th generation in a lineage of Mayan Medicine People. He received his sacred bundle at the age of 13. He is president of the National Mayan Council of Elders of Guatemala, a body of 440 men and women elders of wisdom who represent 23 Mayan ethnic groups of Guatemala. He was instrumental in creating the reunion of Indigenous Elders and Priests of Americas and is known as the Grand Elder of the Americas. Don Alejandro holds the wisdom of the Mayan Cosmology and travels the world sharing the Mayan prophecies on the major earth changes coming in this millennium. He is a medicine man and works as a catalyst for healing on global levels. Grand Elder Grandfather Don Alejandro is regarded as the Voice of the Jungle and the Messenger of the Maya; we also know him as 'Tata' which most affectionately, 'Grandfather' in his native language. Wandering Wolf is responsible for guiding us through a prophesied evolutionary transition called the Shift of the Ages. He relays potent messages filled with hope and promise, and grave warnings about the changes we must make. He tells us we are living in the time when the ancestors, as well as men and women of wisdom, return to usher in a new era of global harmony and a new phase of human evolution.Wandering Wolf >>

Wandering Wolf mathematical provenance extends to the traditional and elegant mathematics of the Mayan Long Count Calendar, which culminates in the Mayan year “Zero,” or approximately 2012 in the Gregorian calendar. A cogent messenger, Wandering Wolf warns us that we have arrived at a critical crossroads. The message is simple and clear: we must change the way we live now.

We are here in ancient lands, where there are ancient cities. Here anthropoligists have come and called them ruins because they ruined them. They ransacked and destroyed them and now they call them ruins. But these are really ancient cities. And for us, and the world to know. In the first place, yes the Mayans are here presently. The Mayan nation starts in Mexico and goes from Arriaga to Veracruz. There are Mayans from Belize, Mayans from Guatemala, Mayans from Honduras, Mayans from El Salvador, and a small part of Nicaragua. The pyramids are here in the home of the Maya; for the nation of Maya. What we want in this, is for everyone to understand that we are not human sacraficers. These are ideas that people have gathered from books defaming the Mayan people -this isn’t the truth.Shift of the Ages >>

Carl Johan Calleman

The Mayan culture has undergone substantial changes throughout its existence. It is part of the wider context of Mesoamerican civilization that stretched from Central America into the present-day southern United States. This civilization was based on the cultivation of maize and shared the sacred 260-day calendar. It is estimated that the Maya started to cultivate maize about 5000 years ago, around the time set for the beginning of their Long Count. It is however only about the time of Christ that we can talk about the emergence of a high culture among the Maya. Especially after the beginning of the so-called Classical Period around AD 250 the city-states of the Maya emerge in their full splendor. It is in this time that a system of rule by shaman kings emerges in a literate culture with an advanced calendrical system. While most visitors will look upon these sites as "ruins" they still play a role as ceremonial sites for the contemporary descendants of the ancient Maya.Carl Johan Calleman >>

For some time now there has been a discussion going on as to what is the exact end date of the Mayan calendar. The fundamental issue at hand is not so much what is the actual end date of the Mayan calendar, but how we are to understand this calendar and its relationship to the cosmic plan. This is also why the end date question requires an open mind and even a fairly deep knowledge of Mayan calendrics to address. Those that promote the December 21, 2012 date almost invariably lack a model for understanding evolution based on the Mayan calendar and are instead placing all the importance on what will happen on one particular day; December 21, 2012. What they suggest for this date is typically an event in the sky or a pole shift, a comet that will hit the earth or some other physical or astronomical singular event. In my view the most absurd of these interpretations is probably a book that sets out to prove that this is the day when the world will come to an end because of a pole shift and there is nothing we can do about it (The Orion Prophecy). For someone who does not have a scientific training and background its purported « mathematical proof » for this may even seem impressive. The Right Date >>

Terence Mckenna

Terence Kemp McKenna (November 16, 1946 - April 3, 2000) was a writer, philosopher, psychonaut and thnobotanist. He was noted for his knowledge of the use of psychedelic, plant-based entheogens, and subjects ranging from shamanism, the theoretical origins of human consciousness, and his concept of novelty theory. Terence has been studying the ontological foundations of Shamanism and the Ethnopharmacology of spiritual transformation for the past quarter century. An innovative theoretician and spellbinding orator, Terence has emerged as a powerful voice for the psychedelic movement and the emergent societal tendency he calls The Archaic Revival. Poetically dispensing enlightened social criticism and new theories of the fractal dynamics of time.

"In the twilight of human history, McKenna's prescription for salvation is just so crazy it might work."

Terence McKenna grew up in Paonia, Colorado He was introduced to geology through his uncle and developed a hobby of solitary fossil hunting in the arroyos near his home. From this he developed a deep artistic and scientific appreciation of nature. At age 16, McKenna moved to, and attended high school in, Los Altos, California He lived with family friends because his parents in Colorado wished him to have the benefit of highly rated California public schools. He was introduced to psychedelics through The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley and the Village Voice.

One of his early experiences with them came through morning glory seeds (containing LSA), which he claimed showed him "that there was something there worth pursuing." Terence Mckenna >>

Alan Watts

Inability to accept the mystic experience is more than an intellectual handicap.

Lack of awareness of the basic unity of organism and environment is a serious and dangerous hallucination. For in a civilization equipped with immense technological power, the sense of alienation between man and nature leads to the use of technology in a hostile spirit---to the "conquest" of nature instead of intelligent co-operation with nature.Psychedelics and Religious Experience >>

Now, the subject of this seminar is 'Self and Other,' and this is therefore to be an exploration into the subject that interests me most, which is the problem of personal identity, man's relationship to the universe, and all the things that are connected with that. It is, for our culture at this time in history an extremely urgent problem, because of our technological power. In known history, nobody has had such capacity for altering the universe than the people of the United States of America. And nobody has gone about it in such an aggressive way.

I think sometimes that the two symbols of our present kind of technological culture are the rocket ship and the bulldozer.

The rocket as a very, very phallic symbol of compensation for the sexually inadequate male. And the bulldozer, which ruthlessly pushes down hills and forests and alters the shape of the landscape. These are two symbols of the negative aspect of our technology. I'm not going to take the position that technology is a mistake. I think that there could be a new kind of technology, using a new attitude. But the trouble is that a great deal of our power is wielded by men who I would call 'two o'clock types.' Self and Other >>

I find it a little difficult to say what the subject matter of this seminar is going to be, because it's too fundamental to give it a title. I'm going to talk about what there is. Now, the first thing, though, that we have to do is to get our perspectives with some background about the basic ideas that, as Westerners living today in the United States, influence our everyday common sense, our fundamental notions about what life is about. And there are historical origins for this, which influence us more strongly than most people realize. Ideas of the world which are built into the very nature of the language we use, and of our ideas of logic, and of what makes sense altogether.The Nature of Consciousness >>

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Jiddu Krishnamurti was born in May 1895, in a small town in South India near Madras. As the eighth child of a Brahmin family, and a boy, he was by tradition called Krishnamurti in honor of Shri Krishna, a Hindu divinity born an eighth child. His father, a civil servant, then moved to Madras with his four surviving sons. In 1911, the sixteen-year-old Krishnamurti, with his younger brother, was brought to England where he was privately educated. He began to speak along lines that broke with tradition in 1929, when he repudiated all connections with organized religions and ideology. Once he came of age, he never stayed anywhere for more than a few months and did not consider that he belonged to any country, nationality or culture. He accepted no fees for his talks or royalties on his books and recordings.

During his talks, Krishnamurti would ask of his audience to participate by listening and exploring human problems together. You cannot listen if at the same time you are comparing what is said with what you have previously read, or learned, or recorded; this prevents listening. In other words, if you are translating what is being said according to your own past knowledge or opinion, then you cannot listen. Listening implies attention of the whole being. Beyond the Mind of the Writer >>

I wonder if we really are aware of anger, sadness, happiness? Or are we aware of these things only when they are all over? Let us begin as though we know nothing about it at all and start from scratch. Let us not make any assertions, dogmatic or subtle, but let us explore this question which, if one really went into it very deeply, would reveal an extraordinary state that the mind had probably never touched, a dimension not touched by superficial awareness. Let us start from the superficial and work through.

We see with our eyes, we perceive with our senses the things about us - the colour of the flower, the humming bird over the flower the light of this Californian sun, the thousand sounds of different qualities and subtleties, the depth and the height, the shadow of the tree and the tree itself. We feel in the same way our own bodies, which are the instruments of these different kinds of superficial, sensory perceptions. If these perceptions remained at the superficial level there would be no confusion at all. That flower, that pansy, that rose, are there, and that's all there is to it. There is no preference, no comparison, no like and dislike, only the thing before us without any psychological involvement. Is all this superficial sensory perception or awareness quite clear? It can be expanded to the stars, to the depth of the seas, and to the ultimate frontiers of scientific observation, using all the instruments of modern technology. The Urgency of Change >>

So we are together observing closely, hesitantly, attentively, this movement, this tide that goes out and comes in, which is what we are, we create the world, and then by the world we are trapped. We have created this society, not each one of us, but our past generations, those and us have created this present immoral, destructive society. And we are trapped by that society. That society is made by each one of us. So we are responsible for that society. Whether it is possible, not to change society, but is it possible to radically, deeply transform our conditioning, which is, understand deeply our consciousness, which is what we are. Is it possible to transform, not into something, but to change, to bring about a mutation in the very structure and nature of our consciousness? That is the problem. That is the crisis. It is not a political crisis, economic crisis, or the crisis of war, but the crisis is in ourselves. And we apparently cannot face that crisis, or are unwilling to face it. And so we try to escape from that fact through various forms of entertainment religious, political, football, and all the rest of it. Observing Conflict >>

The sky was heavy with clouds and the day was warm, though the breeze was playing with the leaves. There was distant thunder, and a sprinkling of rain was laying the dust on the road. The parrots were flying about wildly, screeching their little heads off, and a big eagle was sitting on the topmost branch of a tree, preening itself and watching all the play that was going on down below. A small monkey was sitting on another branch, and the two of them watched each other at a safe distance. Presently a crow joined them. After its morning toilet the eagle remained very still for a while, and then flew off. Except for the human beings, it was a new day; nothing was like yesterday. The trees and the parrots were not the same; the grass and the shrubs had a wholly different quality. The remembrance of yesterday only darkens today, and comparison prevents perception. How lovely were those red and yellow flowers!

Loveliness is not of time.

We carry our burdens from day to day, and there is never a day without the shadow of many yesterdays. Our days are one continuous movement, yesterday mingling with today and tomorrow; there is never an ending. We are frightened of ending; but without ending, how can there be the new? Without death, how can there be life? And how little we know of either! One Continuous Movement >>

Pathfinders in Evolutionary Enlightenment

You’ve seen the papers. You’ve watched the TV reports. You know how the debate on evolution is always framed. Darwin vs. God. Science vs. religion. Evolution vs. creationism. Reason and rationality vs. belief and faith. That’s the evolution debate we hear about in the mass media these days, the one that is causing consternation everywhere from Kansas school boards to Pennsylvania courthouses.

But even as the culture wars rage and endless straw men are sent to their graves, we at WIE would like to suggest a different approach. Because what is portrayed about evolution in today’s media more often than not implies a false choice, an artificial polarization between two extremes. In fact, there is another evolution debate going on behind the scenes, one that is broader, deeper, subtler, and much more profound. And it’s not just a debate between science and spirituality. It’s also about what kind of science and what kind of spirituality we are talking about.Evolution Through the Lens of Science and Spirit >>

It is a very rare moment indeed when the evolutionary impulse—that mysterious urge toward unbounded freedom and our own potential for radical transformation in this life—arises in awareness, unimpeded by the endless fears and desires of the separate ego. But it is infinitely more rare that, when that impulse arises, there is a bold and fearless response that says yes and yes and yes and only yes, now and forever.

The price of radical transformation is always the same—we have to let go of fear and attachment. And, in that letting go, discover a completely different perspective on what it means to be alive. But it is these two tasks—transcending fear and attachment and being willing to embrace a new way of seeing—that most seekers find so challenging. When the spiritual experience sweeps through our entire being, spontaneously emptying us of fear and attachment and opening our inner eye to higher levels of perception, temporarily there is nothing to let go of. Temporarily, we are lifted out of our unconsciousness, and the way we perceive reality and our place in it shifts dramatically. And so it appears that a real transformation has occurred—that maybe we have indeed changed. But when the higher state of consciousness begins to recede, when the intensity of the spiritual experience becomes the simplicity of life as it is, when we discover that we have not changed as much as we thought we had, how profound is our interest in the miracle and mystery of the revelation that just descended upon us? Indeed, how much do we really want to change, even now that we have seen the yonder shore? Are we willing to pay the price of permanent transformation, when it demands everything from us? Are You Ready To Change NOW? >>

If you’ve never read anything by the French philosopher and scientist Henri Bergson (1859-1941), you are definitely missing out! Most famous for coining the term élan vital–or vital force–in his 1907 book Creative Evolution, Bergson was trying to reclaim the theory of evolution from the mechanistic and deterministic worldview that was starting to take hold in many cultural and philosophical circles by the end of the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. He argued that there is a creative, living force driving the evolutionary process. And his bold claim that free will and human choice were not only real, but products of the evolution of life, won this philosopher surprising fame in the public eye. His inspired talks filled lecture halls, he won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1925, and his writings were very popular during the first two decades of the twentieth century. Here’s an excerpt from Creative Evolution.The Revolt Against Materialism >>

The notion of evolutionary becoming, or evolutionary emergence, is a very new and unique orientation for the self. It’s hard to even conceive of how different this orientation is from the ways we have traditionally and culturally been conditioned to relate to the human experience.

With the exception of very rare individuals, throughout history our orientation has generally been toward creating security, towards carving out a safe place in which to experience comfort and pleasure. Even revolutionaries who challenge the status quo in order to gain more rights and freedoms usually do so only until those rights and freedoms are achieved, after which they tend to settle in to a new status quo. Evolutionary Becoming: A New Orientation >>

Oneness and the Illusion of Separation & The Observations of Oneness

Anything that vibrates is an Illusion of Separation within Oneness. Oneness free from Illusion is the state of total balance and stillness. Once Oneness vibrates, it becomes an Expression of its own Self, unique in its own right within the Illusion of Separation but at the same time encompassing all of Oneness in its entirety. The Separation perceived by an Expression of Oneness (and all that vibrates is an Expression of Oneness) only exists in Illusion, since energy that vibrates creates a parabolic oscillation of the One energy.Oneness and the Attachment to the Illusion of Separation >>

Over the years I have been disillusioned by public figures and institutions ‘telling lies’ or twisting the truth, in order to manipulate a people’s way of thinking. I have thought a lot about truth and lies in order to gain some peace with this common reality, and in my philosophy I separate reality into truth and illusion, equating these terms with the real and the unreal. While these are valid distinctions in themselves, they cannot apply to the in the manifest world. They are only as valid as of our perceptions.

Perceptions can either be superficial or deeply insightful; Truth is a perception of depth in which we perceive more of what is there, while illusion is a superficial perception of reality. Truth is timeless, and can only exist through love and compassion. Can We Perceive Oneness? >>

We often get impatient watching history unfold, witnessing those still caught up in the illusion as they cause suffering through serving their own selfish, fear-driven interests. But we are all like children reading a storybook together, and just because you and I are already at the end of the page doesn't mean that others are. In order for us to turn the page, we must all turn the page together. The page must be read by all before we may proceed to the next chapter. We must all come to the realization together, so that we may all choose to turn the page as One. Together We Turn the Page >>

We're all caught up in the machine, and that's why the path of the one who has awaken from the delusion seems like an uphill struggle. But the universe always unfolds as it should. Humankind is itself one conscious being trying to figure itself out. We're in our adolescent, predatory stage of development in the eyes of the universe, and we have yet to fully learn and let go of our fear-driven behavior of controlling others. The immature, egocentric mind refuses to see itself as the problem, and runs from its own shadow as it bullies others thinking that the solution lies in seeing itself separate, and thus greater than the world, rather than being equal, interdependent, and one with it. What seems as a downward plunge into oblivion is, in the eyes of the universe, merely the next stage in the collective human development. Oneness With The Machine >>

It humbles me to know that your path was destined to converge with mine. Every step we take is a step closer to our own further understanding of Self, and every person we meet is literally a reflection of our desire to understand the very nature of who we are through others. When our paths cross, not only does it mean that you subconsciously chose this particular path so that it would connect with yours. The path to self-awareness and self-understanding is receprocal and equal. Each of us learn equally of ourselves through others. No one person has greater wisdom and experience gained than the other, since everyone is an aspect of one's own Self. Therefore, I will learn as much about my Self through you as you will through me. There is no hierarchy, since that is only an Illusion that man exploits to control others less aware of this truth. Oneness Against The Machine >>

A Reflection of your hopes and dreams, your fears and your love. A Microcosm of the Universe and all there is, seen and unseen. I am no better than you, nor am I worse. I am as equally unique in my experiences as you are in yours. I humbly offer my observations of Oneness in a Self-induced and Self-perpetuating Illusion of Seperation and Suffering. Suffering exists because we believe that it is a part of our Reality. But Suffering,like all things, is an Illusion -- a vibrational frequency pattern of the One.I Am Expression of the One >>

The Destruction of America & the Grand Delusion

The Destruction of America & the Grand Delusion

Capitalism is the historical evolution of Private Property Relationship of Alienation, Exploitation and Suffering of humanity in a modality of Commodity Production for Profit in a politically manipulated Market System of artificial scarcity and manipulation, perpetuating the conditions of servitude and bondage of the Working Class in the interest of the Owning/Ruling Class.The Capitalist Conspiracy >>

Yes, I revile the American President, but also he is merely a figurehead for the real Beast. By the Democrats own words they have unleashed terror upon us and given it a face of Muslims and Arabs… for their own selfish greed. The donkey and the elephant (symbols of the two dominant political parties) are tied at the hip. Whenever they want to start wars they put the elephant (Republican party) in front. When the people get upset enough they put the donkey (Democratic party) in front. We need to untie the donkey and the elephant and put them on a reservation, and come up with some real solutions to our problems. Solutions that don’t involve imperialism, war, and oppression as its primary tools. Solutions that actually accomplish solutions to the terror issues that have been created by those who would rule over the masses.A Conspiracy of Two Parties >>

What to the American Slave is your Fourth of July? I answer, a day that reveals to him more than all other days of the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass-fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all the religious parade and solemnity, are to him mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy—a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation of this earth guilty of practice more shocking and bloody than are the people of these United States at this very hour. Go search where you will, roam through all the monarchies and despotisms of the Old World, travel through South America, search out every abuse and when you have found the last, lay your facts by the side of the everyday practices of this nation, and you will say with me that, for revolting barbarity and shameless hypocrisy, America reigns without a rival. Frederick Douglass - July 4, 1852 >>

We need a program of psychosurgery and political control of our society. The purpose is physical control of the mind. Everyone who deviates from the given norm can be surgically mutilated. The individual may think that the most important reality is his own existence, but this is only his personal point of view. This lacks historical perspective. Man does not have the right to develop his own mind. This kind of liberal orientation has great appeal. We must electrically control the brain. Some day armies and generals will be controlled by electrical stimulation of the brain. Congressional Record No. 26, Vol. 118, February 24, 1974 Dr. Jose Delgado >>

If it is true that American citizens are willing to work the jobs and undergo the conditions only illegal immigrants are willing to subject themselves to, then why don't I see any of our millions of unemployed and/or homeless American citizens stand side-by-side with the illegal immigrant day laborers patiently waiting to get picked up in front of your local Home Depot stores? Why don't I see our milions of unemployed and/or homeless American citizens selling oranges or mangos on street corners rather than complaining that "those damn Mexicans" have taken their jobs and opportunities away from them? Why don't I see any of our millions of unemployed and/or homeless American citizens lining up to get jobs as plantation pickers, garment district sewers, or hotel maids? When the Least of My People are Blamed - Brian Sanchez >>

Phoenix Aquua

A "placebo controlled clinical study" demonstrates that the power of belief is removed from a pharmaceutical drug test. The mind can actually dissolve a cancer tumor if that patient merely believes the swallowed pill has a drug in it, even if there is nothing in the pill.The Holographic Universe >>

According to the most well-tested theory in physics, Quantum Mechanics, your consciousness changes reality. In this theory, the phenomenon known as the collapse of the Quantum Wave Function is what brings reality into existence. This is a fancy way of saying that one's conscious observation of small unseen waves actually causes those waves to "collapse" into matter. In other words, conscious observation materializes particles into existence. We create our reality through our Focus and Intention.

We are all here perceiving through our "meat puppet" body, and interpreting everything through your receptors and making value judgments based on our life's experiences. Some elements you gloss over or ignore (even if they are important to others, but they aren't your focus, so they don't matter.)

Others you focus very strongly upon. You don't even fully acknowledge just how much you focus on them, but the intensity is so palpable that its like you are digging a groove into the fabric of reality, and you are making sure that each step in your path moves you closer and closer to your desired outcome. Sometimes things do happen in a way that seems like a miracle or magic, such as spontaneous remission from cancer, or whatever else you might feel qualifies, but mostly we just create through intention (focus) transforming energy into matter (in our minds).What the Bleep, Do We Know?! >>

Everyone does it all the time, even when you are blind, deaf, colorblind, in a sensory deprivation chamber, on drugs, drowning, etc. When we mentally focus, energy becomes matter. Everything else is just background or white noise, the "Hum of the Universe", potential. Then it becomes real (to us) because we call it forth in our mind. Science has already demonstrated how we use our body's various receptors, skin, eyes, ears, to register input which are in the form of energy waves (light, sound, etc.) which processes to our brains and is interpreted. The Biology of Belief >>

All reality happens in our minds. Always has, always will. If your "meat puppet" body, which is not you, malfunctions, things can cut off certain receptors, and thus reality changes for you to accommodate your new perception status. If you die, meaning your "meat puppet" body becomes severed from your use in perceiving this Reality anymore, then you move on into the higher realms and your journey here is over and this Reality ceases to be of primary focus. The Divine Matrix >>

So many accept what is taught when without using reason or logic. Evolution does not teach that "we descended from monkeys", it teaches that Humans, like other Primates [including Monkeys and Apes], descended from a common ancestor. And down through time, the evolutionary chain continued. And then we arrive at a species that does not seem to fit as well as the rest. Homosapian's gestation period of 9 months mimics the 3.8 billion years evolution of all life on Earth. The human embryo repeats the evolution of all species. When the sperm and egg unite, this new creation, is a single-celled organism. Within hours, this single cell divides and multiplies more rapidly than any other species. 4 weeks later, the embryo begins to develop gills mimicking aquatic life. A few weeks later it develops lungs and a tail with reptilian appearance. From there, a mammal is recognizable, and then on to a primate form. It then sheds its lacuna which is the embryonic fur. And at last, shows the characteristics of a human child. Creation >>

Ethics and morality are secular constructs, arrogated by religion.

A particular action or choice is morally RIGHT when it somehow promotes happiness, well-being or health, or it somehow minimizes unnecessary harm or suffering or both. A particular action or choice is morally WRONG when it diminishes happiness, well-being or health, or it somehow causes unnecessary harm or suffering or does both.

The 'Ethic of Reciprocity' or the Golden Rule predates Christianity by at least several thousand years, was never exclusive to Judaism, and is a fundamental moral value which simply means 'treat others as you would like to be treated.' It is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights, though it is not without its critics. The Golden Rule was a common principle in ancient Greek philosophy as demonstrated by the writings of Pittacus, Thales, Sextus, Isocrates and Epictetus. It is also a basic tenant of Buddhists, Confusianists, Hindus, Taoists, etc.. The Golden Rule >>

Truly trust that Creation is unfolding continuously, and that all we really need to do is "allow." I sometimes forget this very important message that Abraham teaches:

We are always struggling when we resist the flow and try paddling UP-stream. But once we stop rowing and allow the oars to rest, the canoe we are riding in will turn and flow naturally to our abundance.

The energy of the Source is molding the Universe correctly, and we have come to this point in time, all together. The man-made and the Creation formed are merging and becoming one. People get upset about the New World Order (NWO), yet they don't recognize that this is pure nature at its best. This is us -evolving to an recognition that the whole planet's population is not of separate tribes, nations or even continents, but really one world.Novus Ordo Seclurum >>

I'm on a Spiritual Path unencumbered by dogma or ritual, and it is my wish for everyone to see beyond religion and intuit naturally our interconnetedness and ability to recognize our common energetic creative and eternal essence. No Heaven, No Hell, no separation.

I separate the concepts of spirituality from religion.

Religion is a form of mass mind-control, typically forged out of superstitious fear and mandates that the "believer" abandons their own ability to think rationally to blindly adhere to the dogmas of their faith, even when those dogmas seem to contradict what they sense is fundamentally true and false.

Rather, as a spiritual person, I feel we are free-flowing entities, who can tap into our spiritual nature by allowing our Imagination to open and expand our perception beyond the physical senses.

Our social and religious structures have ingrained within us that is it wrong to be playful and imaginative. Even though everything that we use to define ourselves and our societies actually sprang from our imagination: language, inventions, tools, art, music, everything.

The very fact that we are able to communicate via a computer is the result of someone tapping into imagination, and then we create shared imagery through our communication which occurs solely in our minds through imagination.

Our natural state is one of creativity, bliss and unconditional love and acceptance. Religion vs Spirituality >>

Christians have this concept of being "Created in the Image of God" all backwards. Yes, we are created in the image of the Creator, but that Creator is us. We are Created to be creators.

You see, we are the creators of our own lives, as much as we are the destroyers of the same. The "image" of god is our imagination which is the pure source energy of our ability to create. All things spring from our imagination. That is why god is imaginary.

Imagination is creation.

Sadly Christians have imagined god in their image, thus anthropomorphizing god into a petty, vindictive male figure replete with all the baser instincts stemming from superstition (resulting from a lack of knowledge).

The Bible is a book of fairytales used to manipulate and coerce people into alignment with a form of dictatorship which inhibits free imagination, hence stymies evolution and expansion, which is the antithesis of our true nature.

Your imagination is a wonderful and creative tool.

Imagine that there was indeed a spiritual aspect to living; it would be through our imagination that you would be able to gain access to it.

It is true that imagination, if wielded destructively, can cause great harm (war, weapons, hate-speech, and even religions are proof enough of that), but if wielded creatively it can achieve fantastic heights. You Are Your Savior >>

I am not an Atheist, and most definitely not religious.

I do NOT believe in some anthropomorphic god-entity, but rather that EVERYTHING that is, and even that which we do not yet comprehend or are not yet aware of, is "god." That means you and I, and everyone else is also god... not "gods", but rather just one single total god. That we are ALL connected and entangled at a quantum level, and through this we are able to exchange information, even when we are not completely conscious of it.

The way I view everything is as a Fractal. That everything at a macrocosmic level is mirrored at the microcosmic level too. We are typically only aware of our position within the fractal and the higher and lower positions are typically beyond our physical perception, but technology, like telescopes and microscopes are slowly demonstrating these greater and smaller worlds and we are acclimating to these new ways of "seeing."Spiritual Freedom >>

Today, many people become entangled in the external turmoil of the world as some humans become maimed and murdered in the name of God by religious and political fanatics with tunnel vision who have no knowledge of ‘The All’ or ‘The Spirits’ true reality. They do not seek to contribute and assist humanity in their Spiritual advancement except to destroy. Like the carnivorous beasts in nature; territorial and they lay cunningly in wait for their next victim. The beasts in nature are not blamed for following their cravings so prompted by the Laws of Nature.

But man in whom intellect has unfolded is capable of descending below the animal plane and becomes satanic in nature having sunk very low in the scale of Life while embracing the lower parts of Mental Polarity in Human Nature. These types of humans are found not only in the arena of religious and political fanaticism but in all levels of society including world commerce in the greed, theft, dishonesty, fraud, and underhandedness, of certain corporate entities of which none is a contributor to the advancement of humanity but to bring suffering and destruction to humans. An Old Axiom >>

I have a certain way in which I live, and certain rules in which I live my life. I tend to gravitate to Anyone with an open mind about the nature of reality and its spiritual aspects, but can use a fair measure of rational thinking when coming to their personal understanding of the nature of science and spirituality. Especially those who can tell the difference between spirituality & reason and that of "fear" & "faith" (coercion through religious dogma and blind submission to authority and mythology). Rules I Live By >>

The information presented here is to empower you and enhance your beliefs by finding out the deep driving meanings behind them.

These are all ways to explain the same behavior process that begins with awareness, begins with consciousness. And if you get rid of all the images and concepts in our minds, of these sayings in your head, and just try to feel the difference between the two polarities, you'll begin to notice that all of the different scenarios and possibilities that are playing out in the world, all spawn from this common origin.My Personal Message >>

Today I overheard a young woman telling a co-worker that she sometimes wakes up crying, she doesn’t know why, but she can’t help it. She recently immigrated here and she has a husband and two kids and she didn’t understand how such a seemingly perfect life that she could still spend mornings crying in the shower, before pulling herself together to send her kids off to school and heading off to work.

It wasn’t my conversation to join, but I wanted to tell her that I understand, that her pain is justified, but that she has a choice, just as we all do, just as Bill Hicks said. “between fear and love" Fear & Love >>

For the first time in the history of the world has mankind been able to document it's own evolution.

Perhaps most astounding is the time frame from 1900 to 2000 which has brought about events shaping us into the species we are today. We are a direct product of our environment. We are what we eat so to speak.

Like babies growing up, we have learned how to crawl, and we have learned to stand on our feet and walk. Technology too, has taken a steps affording us the opportunity of traveling anywhere in the world and also, the ability to communicate instantly. Knowledge and information have never before been so readily available. Awakening Is Now >>

The Maya Sacred Tzolkin Calendar (the "True count" as used by the Maya for 5000 years). Mayan Sun signs (called Sacred "Day" Signs in their Astrology) consist of 20 signs total, and based on your Date of Birth, there is also a corresponding Energy Number/Galactic Tone (1 thru 13) representing your relationship to the Galaxy!

The Mayan sacred calendar is much more than just a calendar. Thinking of the Tzolkin as only a calendar would be like thinking of your computer as only a clock. The Tzolkin is a record of the flow and combination of the solar and galactic light which creates a light frequency for each day. This frequency in turn creates the "stage" on which we act out our lives. Once a person has determined or remembered his part in the play of life, (his or her frequency), they can more easily harmonize with reality to accomplish their goals.

We human beings consider ourselves to be made up of "solid matter." Actually, our physical body is the end product so to speak, of subtle information fields, which mold our physical body as well as all physical matter. These fields are "holograms" which change in time and are outside the reach of our normal senses. This is what clairvoyants perceive as colorful egg shaped "halos" or "auras" surrounding our physical body etheric body. The etheric body is a "holographic energy template" which guides the growth and development of our physical body. We create our bodies as we create the experience of our world.Arising To Zero Point Energy >>

The most advanced Masters may acquire the powers usually attributed to the gods of men; and there are countless ranks of being, in the great hierarchy of life, whose being and power transcends even that of the highest Masters among men to a degree unthinkable by mortals.

So that even these highest Beings, whose power exceed even those attributed by men to their gods --if even these are bound by and are subservient to Law, then imagine the presumption of mortal man, of our race and grade, when he dares to consider the Laws of Nature as "unreal," visionary and illusory, because he happens to be able to grasp the truth that the Laws are mental in nature, and simply imaginary creations of 'the all.'

So long as the Universe endures, will they endure --for the Universe exists by virtue of these Laws which form its framework and which hold it together.

These laws govern how your life evolves, regardless of whether you believe in them or not. The Seven Universal Laws >>

Kind Words From My Readers

"Thanks for a wealth of light ..." -Gregory Sams, author - Son of gOd

"Thank you for your courage of presence, I do like what you are transmitting ..." -Scott Allen, reader

"I was simply not aware of this site. I am totally eager to read about all of that. Have been since 9-11-01. Am a pretty intuitive person and since i have been working my way out of the matrix, possibilities and new concience levels occur. I live far more in a universe now than simply on earth...and there is light and there is dark. I choose the first one. " - Eddy, reader

"Thank you for the contribution you are making to humanity in your writings on your blog; your writing is outstanding. I believe we have a lot to discuss, and have noticed that more and more I have been led to people and places that lead us both into new directions; I think this is another case." Thank you for being you.

True love, light everywhere, -Cullen Kowalski, Executive Director, PsychoNoetic Science Institute

"I must say that I'm with you on what you say 100%, people dont understand or dont want to see the change that is taking place. ...I, like you think, that there is a much deeper meaning to everything that sorrounds us. From a flower blossomming to a bird taking flight. I think that soon humanity will awake to this sort of deeper understanding of the world and the universe and find out that time doesnt pass us by but it is for ever one minute in time...." - David Roche, reader

“Phoenix Aquua detoxifies a ton of racist garbage and makes us less sick" “With so much small minded is refreshing to read a commentary that is intelligent and lovingly wise!” - Alan Scott, reader

Wow, Someone finally had the intellectual capacity to express the modern societal malaise. You deserve an Oscar.” -Anon reader

"I was so glad to find such a voice- you are truly a clear channel for these times ... Thank you for your work- we will only get thru those doors together...It is like a drink of cool water in the desert. In Love & Light -Lucinda Thomas - reader

Really.. whoever is responsible for this page.. not just parts but each subsequent note is a mirrored vision of things I've been preaching.. the way I see our development through times in cultural as well as many other ways.. just absolutely all of your understanding coincide with mine.. i feel as if whoever is responsible is in many ways carrying the same essence of soul I carry within myself. It can be rough to be an Aquarius at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you so much for helping me to feel a sense of communion in the realization that my thoughts exist elsewhere on this planet and I'm not the only one. The burden enlightening the understanding of people the way you have is a responsibility I've cherished and have taken upon myself with zest, but to see another carrying the essence of water as such is so refreshing. I know of other Aquarians and even amongst them it is rare to find someone like myself who seems to carry the pure Aquarian ideals that lend ones character as supportive to the rooting of what it means to belong with this sign. Thank you for you brilliance. - Anon reader

My Favorite Comments

"yes no more lies, but there are still anomalies that contradict anomalies etc down the rabbot hole, and surprises. For example---I was into the No Planes Theory. Very convincing, but I hadn't seen a ATS post --seen some weeks back--of convincing footage of plane parts at the Pentagon!So whats this mean?? Over at the towers we have the thermite or super nano thermite theories versus the Dr Judy Wood theories of them--(who ARE these them??!) using secret weapons which hide the fact they have known about Free Energy for ages but dont want us to know, and have liberation from their evil shit---no they choose to use it against us in weapons. Now does that sound far fetched? These psychopaths are capable of anything." -muzuzuzus

"So you are born and come of age and then you find out that the ghrown ups who you had been led to believe were responsible people had allowed nuclear plants to be built on an island prone to earthquakes and had even been warned they were unstable and did nothing and you further learn that over these fools are a satanic cabal who PLANNED meticulously the Japanese fuk U shima disaster using weather--manipulation WMDs-- as yet another magic blood ritual as they did 9/11 etc etc etc and this you know in a plastic culture with mannikin puppets with couffered hair plastic eyes and brutal tones who spout paranoia-inducing misery into your rooms on the screens..." -muzuzuzus