Written or spoken, words are continuously propelling us through life. They lift us up, drag us down, wound us deeply or heal our hearts. Words have the power to break confidences, build life long alliances or start wars.
Words can make or break us, both as individuals and as a society.
What have you been saying lately? Are the words you choose positive or negative?
The words you speak can have a profound effect on the people they reach.
Are you using words that build up your children, your spouse, your friends or even the strangers you pass on the street?
Or
Are you tearing down your own family, and friends with words of criticism, bitterness and judgment?
Words have set whole nations in motion…Give me the right word and the right accent and I will move the world. —Joseph Conrad
In the Bible, James compares the human tongue to a horse.
We have mastered controlling this tremendous, spirited animal with a small piece of metal, yet we are far from controlling the words that fall from our lips.
If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to harness the whole body...Indeed we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn (or control) their whole body. —James 3 — Taming the Wild Tongue
Why then, do we find it so difficult to refrain from saying words we know will only harm?
Controlling what we say, though, how hard do we really try?
Is it simply a form of self discipline that we are lacking?
We seek to control every single aspect of our lives.
Self-control? Nah, what fun is that?
Surely it is easier to harness the power of a wild horse than to reign in your tongue. It does seem to take on a life of its own bursting out of control at times when emotions are elevated. Whether we are quickly placing our foot in our mouth or cutting down another driver in rush hour traffic, it is a problem most of us (unless you live in isolation) combat daily.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. —Dorothy Nevill
Can’t you take a joke?
Well now, that all depends. If we follow up a rude or insulting comment with the phrase “I was only joking” does it not count to the person we said it to?
Does the sting of the words vanish, having no lasting effect?
Are we therefore innocent, somehow not responsible for the rubbish spewing forth from our mouths? We may have the right to free speech, but speech is not entirely free. There are always consequences for what we say, whether or not we realize our impact.
For example, if you choose words that are critical and judgmental around your children, then your children will learn to criticize and judge.
If you speak without courtesy and respect, and love then they will do the same to others in the world.
Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, it rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. —1 Cor. 13:4
Words can inspire us to greatness; they enable us to share our deepest feelings with one another. Words can change us as individuals. When used with care, they can change the world around us.
From the very beginning when the first words were uttered, the ability to communicate has played an important role in our world.
Whether within our own thoughts, spoken or written, words have the power to transform the world we live in.
Love, laughter, heroism, friendship, and virtually every emotion we feel as human beings can be inspired by words.
Unfortunately, fear, anger, and hatred, can also be invoked by words.
This morning I had the displeasure of being called a “faggot” at least 8 times this morning before 10am.
By mid day I had been called “faggot” at least 15 times; totaled.
So at the end of this day, a friend of mine dropped by to visit, and inadvertently played back a message, on speaker phone from a friend of his, which blurted out another use of the word “faggot”, and this time, it was directed at me.
It urked me so that I made a scene out of it. I was fed up, and offended. My friend and I argued each point, and gave our perspectives on the use of the word.
He disagreed that the word had any power, and is just used in jest. I argued against his point.
I suppose we both agreed to disagree on the use of the word.
My feelings were still hurt.
Being homosexual, I’ve had to work extra my whole life to prove myself, because of the social status society has placed on me; a 2nd class citizen.
Not only did I have to fight society to gain respect, but I have had to fight within my own family.
I suppose I am was just tired of being a victim of hate.
Wait a minute, what did I just hear myself say, “Victim“? Did I just victimize myself? Wow, am I playing the “victim” here?
Sure I am.
Where did this word come from, and how could I give it so much power over me?
I don’t think I would be wrong in making the statement that, in these times the word “faggot is not really used if somebody is really a homosexual but instead it’s mostly used in place of calling somebody stupid or a loser.
One definition of the word Faggot is that of a bundle of sticks or wood.
Another definition would be a term used to refer to homosexuals, often as a slur, and usually one who is flamboyantly flaming
Coined in the Victorian era, this term comes from the practice in British Public Schools of making the students do menial tasks such as gathering the sticks to make Faggots, which were used instead of logs. These menial tasks became known as "Faggot-work", and it was the lowest of the low socially that typically were made to do these tasks. These boys were often physically weak as well, and were left open to sexual advances from other boys or teachers with little or recourse to refuse
It’s also defined as a British term for a cigarette.
Nonetheless, it’s used today as an insulting term for a gay male, usually used by insecure straight males of the teenage persuasion to "show that they are not gay".
How did "faggot" get to mean "male homosexual"?
I guess that in Britain the term does not carry a negative connotation and is used as slang for cigarettes and whatnot, but it still gets me thinking. How can a word go from meaning "a bundle of sticks" to "homosexual male"? I've looked elsewhere on the Internet, but I haven't been able to find any unbiased resources or even biased ones that state their sources. They all say that it goes back to heretics being forced to carry the faggots for their own execution at the stake. Forgive me for being skeptical, but this sounds a heckuva lot like the story about the origin of the term "rule of thumb," albeit backward. —
The British historically haven't found "faggot" offensive--with the exception of a vile-tasting meatball currently marketed in the UK as Mr. Brain's Faggots.
One of the advertising lines says,
"It's no wonder 100 million faggots are eaten in the UK every year!"
It took Americans to apply the term to male homosexuals.
First some history.
The term faggot or fagot, meaning bundle of sticks, shows up around 1300 in English. It almost certainly came from Old French, possibly going back to Greek phakelos. Since those bundles of sticks were mainly used for fires, it's not surprising that the term came to mean burning sticks. Then there was that nasty business in medieval times where heretics were burned at the stake. Some later cites indicate heretics who repented and were spared a fiery death had to wear a picture of a faggot on their sleeve to show what might have been their fate. But no print evidence exists that homosexuals were referred to as faggots before the twentieth century, with the origin definitely in the U.S., not Britain.
The British continued to use the words fag and faggot as nouns, verbs and adjectives right through the early 20th century, never applying it to homosexuals at any time. To fag or to be a fag was a common term in British schools from the late 1700s and referred to a lower classman who performed chores for upperclassmen. While this term was also in vogue at Harvard in the first half of the 19th century, it died out by the mid-1800s in the U.S., leaving it in use only in England. Nineteenth century Britons also heard "faggot" used in reference to an ill-tempered woman, i.e., a ball-buster, a battleaxe, a shrew. That meaning of the term continued into the early 20th century, and the usage was gradually applied to children as well as women. The relationship, if any, between faggot-as-bundle-of-sticks and faggot-as-shrewish-woman is unknown.
The first known published use of the word faggot or fag to refer to a male homosexual appeared in 1914 in the U.S. It referred to a homosexual ball where the men were dressed in drag and called them "fagots (sissies)." Ernest Hemingway, in The Sun Also Rises
(1926), included the line,
"You're a hell of a good guy, and I'm fonder of you than anybody on earth. I couldn't tell you that in New York. It'd mean I was a faggot." A 1921 cite says, "Androgynes [are] known as 'fairies,' 'fags,' or 'brownies.'"
George Chauncey, in his excellent 1994 work Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940, says that the terms fairy, faggot, and queen were used by homosexuals to refer to men who were ostentatiously effeminate. Homosexuals who were not as showy referred to themselves as "queer" in the first decades of the 20th century. But the general public mainly called homosexuals "fairies." If you were in London in the 1920s through the 1940s and used the term "fag," the man in the street might have offered you a cigarette, and quite possibly that would have been the case with many Americans at the time.
All of this does little to answer your original question: How did a bundle of sticks come to mean a homosexual male? Most likely it didn't. Here we'll have to go to theory. Since I'm writing this, mine will have to do.
We notice with some words a progression of usage that morphs along the lines of "woman/girl" > "woman/girl/child" > "effeminate male" > "homosexual male." The word fairy is a good example. "Faggot" in the sense of an ill-tempered woman is another. I independently came to that conclusion while answering a general question on the SDMB. But, in a post to the American Dialect Society mailing list, Dr. Laurence Horn, professor of linguistics at Yale University, posted the progression that I just used (he did it much more succinctly than I could). Still unexplained is how a Britishism jumped the ocean in a short period of time to acquire a new meaning in the U.S. Perhaps it was an independent formation.
Words happen.
As a last thought, a current notion holds that the Yiddish word faygeleh, which is derived from the word foigel (or vogel) in Yiddish and German, and is kind of like the term "Little Birdie" might have been the source, but lacks evidence other than the claim that the word was commonly used in Yiddish prior to WWII to indicate a homosexual. With the digitizing of publications allowing searching never before possible, perhaps some further scholarship will be forthcoming to help solve the mystery.
As I was researching this article, I ran across the following video:
Here’s something I’d like everyone to discuss and ponder. It’s not okay for people to say the N word right (although they seem to do so in rap lyrics)? So, why would it be okay for people to use the F word, when we are trying to encourage teens to by telling them “It Gets Better,” how can we use the very word that others used to cut them down and persecute them.
I understand it can be taken two ways, but whether it is appropriate or not is another question. Some say when you use the word, you’re taking back ownership. Or maybe it’s just to turn heads and get peoples attention.
I've come to understand that the word is POWERLESS to me now, because I am finally comfortable with who I am, and I love who I am, and the word "faggot", has no power over me.
But for those who are still lost, and haven't been able to find themselves, be careful which words you choose, and remember that Language is at its best when used to inspire others to find the best in themselves.
Don't tear people down with words, lift them up instead.
What are you saying; are your words good or bad,
Positive or negative, happy or sad?
The words of your mouth lead to failure or success.
Do you ever wonder how you got into that mess?
You are in charge of the words that you speak.
Will you be strong, or will you be weak?
Do you speak words of sickness, or words of health?
Do you speak of poverty, or are your words of wealth?
What you say each day is what comes to pass in your life.
Are your days full of peace, or are they full of strife?
Your life will reflect the words that you say.
Speak positive, uplifting words and life will manifest that way.
Speak negative, depressing, 'Oh, poor me' kind of things...
Then the road to failure is what these words will bring.
It's your choice; it's up to you.
What are you saying; what will you do?
Related Articles
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2112/how-did-faggot-get-to-mean-male-homosexual
http://vimeo.com/31741727%20http://amyjane.hubpages.com/hub/Power-Of-Your%20Words
http://www.colindunbar.com/%20 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=faggot
http://www.homorazzi.com/article/fag-gay-usage-homophobic-slur-faggot-queer-homosexual-offensive-words/#ixzz1mtVjSpGD
Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang, edited by J. E. Lighter, New York, 1994-1997. — samclemhttp://vimeo.com/31741727%20http://amyjane.hubpages.com/hub/Power-Of-Your%20Words
http://www.colindunbar.com/%20 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=faggot
http://www.homorazzi.com/article/fag-gay-usage-homophobic-slur-faggot-queer-homosexual-offensive-words/#ixzz1mtVjSpGD
Maya Angelou on the Power of Words
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